Best Irish Joke in a long Time!

[Old Koreelah]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of

 

the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says,

 

'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK

 

Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and

 

steps off.. He falls flat on his face. 'Shoite' he says and pulls

 

himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards

 

the door and falls flat on his face,

 

'Shoite,

 

Shoite !'

 

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get

 

to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the

 

door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and

 

takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step

 

out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

 

'Bi'Jesus.... I'm fockin' focked,' he says.

 

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door,

 

hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside..

 

He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No fockin' way'. He crawls up

 

the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He

 

takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says 'Fock

 

it' and falls into bed.

 

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup

 

of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last

 

night ?'

 

Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was fockin' XXXXed. But how'd you know?'

 

'Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.'