Start Your Day with a Laugh...

[Guest thrasher]

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very

 

sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you

 

want."

 

So he tied her up and went golfing.

 

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A man came home, screeching his car into the driveway, and ran into the

 

house. He slammed the door and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Honey,

 

pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

 

The wife said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain

 

stuff?" "Doesn't matter," he said. "Just get out."

 

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the

 

other is a husband.

 

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

 

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed

 

him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

 

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

 

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

 

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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

 

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the

 

convent."

 

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of

 

chardonnay."

 

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