The Smiths

[planedriver]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

 

father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to

 

arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be

 

here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby

 

photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

 

"Good morning, madam. I've come to...."

 

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

 

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of

 

babies"

 

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

 

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

 

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the

 

couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is

 

fun too; you can really spread out!"

 

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"

 

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we

 

try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different

 

angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"

 

"My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.

 

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in

 

and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"

 

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

 

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his

 

baby pictures.

 

"This was done on the top of an open top tourist bus in Sydney"

 

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

 

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their

 

mother was so difficult to work with"

 

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

 

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Centenial Park to get the job

 

done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get

 

a good look"

 

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

 

"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The

 

mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.

 

Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the

 

mosquitoes began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

 

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean mosquitos actually chewed on your,

 

um......equipment?"

 

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we

 

can get to work."

 

"Tripod?????"

 

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for

 

me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's

 

fainted!!"

 

 

[dazza 38]

Thanks Mate, thats another fantastic Joke, Thankyou Cheers

 

 

[farri]

What a beauty,I reckon some clever dick did that one

 

FRrank.