Old Koreelah Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 IDIOT My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's. IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used that repairman since. Happened in Ipswich, Qld. IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' Story from Collingwood, Melbourne. IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. >From Bankstown, Sydney. IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' This happened in Elizabeth S.A. IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a government employee in Adelaide P.O. IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' STAY ALERT! They walk among us... *** Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it. A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after a success. Yesterday is history,tomorrow is a mystery,and today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. "Elenor Roosevelt"
Guy s Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Yes i know, i meet them all the time, and often wonder how they get by in life. The mind boggles
Guest burbles1 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 Tell me about it. I asked a girl at a local cafe for a chicken and cheese sandwich. After buttering the bread, she then looked at me blankly for a few seconds before picking up ham with tongs. I had to repeat the order of course - one item at a time I'll need to hand them a note with my order from now on.
dazza 38 Posted December 30, 2010 Posted December 30, 2010 It is a worry.I do that all the time, with money.To keep change to a mininum.Eg - $15.25 I will them $20.25. Sometimes you get that look on their face of WTF. They punch in to the register the amount you gave them.When the register says give back $5 in change.They then have the look of relief on there face."OH i get it know" LOL
fly_tornado Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Time: Early this year Where: Oakey Fly in I was with my sister and friend @ the Oakey Base checking out Tony Blair's Extra 300 on the tarmac, pointing out the bits and peices on a aerobatic plane. I am showing them the triangular sight on the left wing tip when a teenage army cadet comes over and tells everyone that is an antenna, I asked him where the wires where and he gave me a blank look. Was pretty funny as we went around to the right side I pointed out the antenna on the fuselage base to everyone...
djpacro Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I wonder if the cadet knew what type of aeroplane it was?
facthunter Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Different view Flying out of Kathrine for Darwin late at night in rain.(F-27) ..Holding torch at slant angle to windshield to see if any ice forming. Flight attendant arrives and says. ARE WE LOST?..... Nev
dazza 38 Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Flying out of Kathrine for Darwin late at night in rain.(F-27) ..Holding torch at slant angle to windshield to see if any ice forming. Flight attendant arrives and says. ARE WE LOST?..... Nev That was funny Nev.
flying dog Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I like these, but I worry when you see things like this included in them and not edited out before they are sent on: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. . . . . She is a government employee in Adelaide P.O. "Stoplight" is not an Australian term - as far as I know. It is more a Yank term. Unless there is an Adelaide in America...... It loses a lot of the funnyness.
Old Koreelah Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I stand corrected, flying dog. I usually "translate Americanese but let this one thru. (Much as I try to protect our own language, you've got to admit the Yanks have made a few improvements to English, especially to spelling. If you are into Dinkum Lingo, read the column of that name in Australian Geographic. It's written by a bloke I have corresponded with. He's fascinated with our national language and writes his column from Minnesota, USA.
flying dog Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Americans IMPROVING spelling? I Know I can't spell to save my life, but they have really made a mess of spelling - IMHO. I'll post a funny which shows this very clearly, once I can find it. Though it has probably been here before, sometimes it is nice to see them again.
kaz3g Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Ahhhhh generation y... It's not fair... I was born before we had alphabetical generations! kaz
pudestcon Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 It's not fair... I was born before we had alphabetical generations!kaz BB is alphabetical isn't it kaz? Pud
facthunter Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 At the moment, I am more concerned with degeneration. Nev
pudestcon Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 At the moment, I am more concerned with degeneration. Nev Is that personal physical and mental degeneration Nev, or Gen ? degeneration? Pud
facthunter Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Been struggling to fight it for years Pud. BOTH.. Regards Nev
Blueadventures Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Hi. I can relate to the Maccas one. I went to KFC in town here and payed for my order with small change. My idea is to get rid of all the twenty, fifty, ten and five cent peices cluttering up the center console area. The cashier looked puzzled and then asked if it was the correct amount that I gave. It was and I said yes. Guess the person was unable to total up that amount. Cheers
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