Amusing Stuff

[Guest thrasher]

Very amusing stuff!!

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is the speed of darkness?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are there especially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you cry under water?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

 

 

[Ben Longden]

I've always wanted to know this... How do deaf people have phone sex?

 

Ben

 

 

[old man emu]

Why are the toilets that are specially designed for people with physical handicaps always busted?

 

I've never seen one yet that didn't have a sign outside saying, "Disabled Toilet".

 

Old Man Emu

 

 

[Guest danda]

Yes and they are often filled with people who should be busted.

 

Don