Mars and Venus

[nomadpete]

I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never

 

figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

 

 

FOR EXAMPLE:

 

 

 

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,

 

the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel

 

like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

 

 

 

 

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every

 

boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

 

 

 

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for

 

me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

 

 

 

She responded to my puzzled look by saying,

 

 

 

"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the

 

bedroom?"

 

 

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

 

her.

 

 

 

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed

 

department store.

 

 

 

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very

 

expensive outfits.

 

 

 

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them

 

all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,

 

"Lets have a pair for each outfit."

 

 

 

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

 

diamond earrings.

 

 

 

Let me tell you... she was so excited.

 

 

 

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis

 

bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

 

 

 

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

 

 

 

She was almost orgasmic from all of the excitement.

 

 

 

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is

 

all dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

 

"No honey, I don't feel like it."

 

 

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

 

"WHAT?"

 

 

 

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

 

 

 

You're just not in touch with my financial needs enough for me

 

to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

 

 

 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

 

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I do for you in the Mall?"

 

 

 

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either....

 

 

 

but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

 

 

[Bryon]

He will recover......eventually:roflmao:

 

 

[Suitman]

He will recover......eventually:roflmao:

But he'll spend a looooooong time in hospital first ...