A Greenie builds a plane

[Guest Maj Millard]

Hope the whole thing is not terminal !...........................................................................Maj...

 

 

[Bryon]

Is there currently any electric planes in the circuit

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

Ozzie's had a positive connection with electric engines............................................................Maj...

 

 

[Deskpilot]

Is he flying under VFR or Ohms-Law regs?

 

 

[facthunter]

A bad electric aeroplane could be a killer, what!.... Nev

 

 

[dazza 38]

I have been getting a good laugh out of this thread.

 

 

[Methusala]

I can't see how it hertz!

 

 

[facthunter]

If it's got more ergs, is it more ergonomic. Nev

 

 

[facthunter]

To have electric planes in the circuit, you would need circuits in the electric planes. Nev

 

 

[farri]

Electric planes could have a short circuit.

 

Frank.

 

 

[flyvulcan]

I can't take any more of this ridiculous banter. I'm going ohm to my missus!

 

 

[facthunter]

If that is the way you want to conduct yourself, I offer no resistance to it. Are you going by the wheatstone bridge? Nev

 

 

[Guernsey]

Stone the crows I've run out of puns....must have a flat battery and that's a real pun-ishment for me.

 

Discharged Alan.

 

 

[Dieselten]

A Greenie decided to build a plane. Because aircraft are anathema to the Greens, he also decided to make it the stealthiest, quietest, most invisible airplane ever built, far more so then even the vaunted Skunk Works had ever produced. Clearly this would require some unique materials and methods of construction. Reluctant to use anything that required the sacrifice of a living thing, or involve the expenditure of any form of energy to produce (such as metal) he constructed it entirely from naturally-occurring materials which he found lying around.

 

For the wings he used the unshakable scientific expertise and knowledge of the environmentalists. Although invisible, he felt this was so solid and strong it would lift anything. After all, everyone believes that science is always impartial and unchallengable.

 

For the powerplant he decided to use hot-air, because it obviously worked so well in balloons. So he went to Canberra, where this material is present in unusual abundance. He found the primary source at Parliament House, and brought back an enormous quantity which, paradoxically, fitted inside a small shopping-bag.

 

Whilst in Canberra he also found something even he realised he would need in order to get his airplane to fly - a huge quantity of spin for the propeller. Everywhere he went in Canberra he encountered spin in unbelievable quantities, so he returned from his trip to the nation's capital with two essentials for aviation - massive quantities of air, and something to spin his propeller. Because the airframe was so light, and the power of hot air and spin so powerful, the aircraft would easily carry over a hundred people with just a single engine. Maintenance costs would be minimal.

 

For the fuselage and empennage he decided to use the invisible fabric of broken political promises. The invisibility of this material matched that of his chosen wing-material, so he felt he was really on his game when it came time to mate the wings to the fuselage. To join them he used the irrefutable logic of the Left, where one only has to say a thing is so and it automatically is, and has been for all measureable time. He simply said "let the wings be joined to the fuselage" and lo! it was so.

 

Came the day when this environmentally-friendly, carbon-neutral, zero-emission wonder was to be unveiled to a waiting crowd of press, politicians, dignitaries and general hangers-on. The aircraft was covered in a cloth, laser-lights played against a background of fog, mood-music played in the background from hidden speakers.

 

The builder made a speech, applause was duly given, politicians made speeches praising him for building such a wonderous machine, the cloth was withdrawn to gasps of astonishment and then all the politicians were invited to board the aircraft, with the builder (who was also the pilot, since he knew more about the aircraft than anyone else) for the first flight. They made their way onto the invisible aircraft, strapped themselves into their invisible seats and then the propeller started to spin and they all taxied out to the runway. Soundlessly they took off and climbed to three thousand feet.

 

Then something miraculous and quite wonderful happened. One of the news camera-men on the ground realised it was all a huge hoax. "Hey fellas, this is all bull$#it!” he yelled. The news-crews then captured the spectacle of the entire plane-load of passengers falling to their deaths from three thousand feet as the spell was broken and the invisible Green aircraft was revealed to be nothing more than hot-air, spin and a bunch of self-seeking politicians and a Greenie trying to pull the wool over the public's eyes.

 

After this, the world was a much better and safer place.

 

 

[flyvulcan]

FYI, going ohm to see the missus was a big mistake. As soon as I walked in the door, she made me do the ioning... Stick with the workshop and building aircraft!

 

 

[Guernsey]

Wow! after that post from Dieselten, I can't re-coil what we were talking about. Must have lost my memory chip.

 

 

[old man emu]

I'm de-gaussed - ed that I can't write such a good story as Dieselten.

 

OME

 

 

[flyvulcan]

Dick Van Grunsven has come up with a new computer program that would help this Greenie make up a table for how much energy he needs. Dick called it the Van der Graph generator...

 

 

[Tomo]

you would need circuits in the electric planes. Nev

Series or parallel?

 

Dieselten, that's a great story!!

 

 

[facthunter]

As long as they are not short(circuits). Nev

 

 

[Tomo]

As long as they are not short(circuits). Nev

Very much so, that would not be cool! (literally)