Heaven and Hell

[kgwilson]

Heaven is Where:

 

The Police are British,

 

The Chefs are Italian,

 

The Mechanics are German,

 

The Lovers are French and

 

It's all organized by the Swiss.

 

Hell is Where:

 

The Police are German,

 

The Chefs are British,

 

The Mechanics are French,

 

The Lovers are Swiss and

 

It's all organized by the Italians.

 

 

[skeptic36]

The following is supposedly an actual question given on the University of

 

Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so

 

"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,

 

which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

 

heat)?

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

 

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need

 

to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which

 

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

 

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

 

Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that

 

if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

 

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not

 

belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

 

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls

 

in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

 

the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

 

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has

 

to expand proportionately as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter

 

Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all

 

Hell breaks loose.

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

 

Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

 

So which is it?

 

We accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

 

that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take

 

into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must

 

be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen

 

over.

 

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows

 

that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving

 

only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains

 

why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 

 

[pudestcon]

Hehehehe

 

 

[facthunter]

The conclusion could be based on one fake orgasm. She may well give you hell later on, so it must be still there to give. Nev

 

 

[Guest Redair]

The conclusion could be based on one fake orgasm. She may well give you hell later on, so it must be still there to give. Nev

Faking it? Funny you should mention that... This morning, I asked my wife if she had been faking it last night... She said NO, she REALLY was asleep!

Redair.