ossie Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Sorry Ozzie I'm a bit tied up at the moment and I did say I had trouble untying knots. Alan. ahh....so you've seen her then 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 A couple of big mouth Gatorade bottles for me. If your quick you can empty them on the grass by the plane before anyones the wiser, after you land. Then wash them out at the nearest tap, and their ready to go again. Some people do get a little sensitive about people dumping their stale piss around airports though. I mean your not the only one dumping it are you. Ferried a lightwing from Rockhampton to Townsville once, come to think of it , it's the one Doug Evans bought recently. So Doug this story is for you !!....... A couple of hours into the flight needed to go No 1 bigtime. Didn't have anything on board (pre-Gatorade bottles) so a look around the cabin for something I could use. Spotted orange plastic Chamois container. Hmmmn big enough to do the job, but it has a small hole in the end. I do my thing holding my finger over hole. OK, what the hell am I going to do with it now ???!!.......Can't put it anywhere because of the hole !.. I open the door a little and feed it into the slipstream, three or four times during the flight. On arrival at Townsville the red-headed female owner runs over excitedly to view her new aircraft with the fresh white paint.....and the very obvious little yellow stain down the pilots' side !!......................................................Maj... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregrobertson Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 A couple of big mouth Gatorade bottles for me. If your quick you can empty them on the grass by the plane before anyones the wiser, after you land. Then wash them out at the nearest tap, and their ready to go again. Some people do get a little sensitive about people dumping their stale piss around airports though. I mean your not the only one dumping it are you.Ferried a lightwing from Rockhampton to Townsville once, come to think of it , it's the one Doug Evans bought recently. So Doug this story is for you !!....... A couple of hours into the flight needed to go No 1 bigtime. Didn't have anything on board (pre-Gatorade bottles) so a look around the cabin for something I could use. Spotted orange plastic Chamois container. Hmmmn big enough to do the job, but it has a small hole in the end. I do my thing holding my finger over hole. OK, what the hell am I going to do with it now ???!!.......Can't put it anywhere because of the hole !.. I open the door a little and feed it into the slipstream, three or four times during the flight. On arrival at Townsville the red-headed female owner runs over excitedly to view her new aircraft with the fresh white paint.....and the very obvious little yellow stain down the pilots' side !!......................................................Maj...[/quote ]A variation on the Gatorade bottle. An empty wine cask bladder, the tap comes off to reveal a larger opening. I keep a couple in the plane all the time, they also make a reasonable cusion, take up almost no room and weigh next to nothing. Greg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfGnome Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Rule #1: The loo is the last stop before the cockpit. Rule #2: Refer Rule #1! I have a bit of a problem 'holding on', so I don't like to go more than about 90 min between landings. However, my beloved hates the landings and is always pressing me to plan longer legs. On one long trip, I discovered that a) coke bottles have a very narrow opening, and b) when the warm contents cool and the air pressure increases on descent, the aforementioned coke bottle collapses in on itself. Lucky it was plastic and not glass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pudestcon Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Well, after relating my story to the BIL, here's his answer to my problem Works for me... Just!! Pud 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exadios Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 OK, Bad title - kinda.But I don't know how better to attract people to the thread and (maybe) get some serious discussion going. Scenario: You are going on a Cross Country trip. You've planned it, weather good, fuel stops at good places. A couple of long legs between airports, but nothing to worry about. Now, to the question/problem: You are off, everything is good. About an hour into the flight and "in the middle of no-where" you need to go! I'm not talking about, rumble rumble. I may need to go in about 30 minutes. You need to go NOW! Say maybe 3 minutes at the outside. I know it is part of planning allowing for these kind of things, but "$hit happens" as it were. Sometimes you can't pick when this sort of thing is going to happen. So in a moment of curiossity, I was seriously wondering: What would you do? Obviously land and deal with the problem, but I mean at the actual time it happens. Yeah, ok, not nice to think about. But seriously, it can happen - though I don't think I would wish it on anyone. Thoughts? This is what most glider pilots do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 This is what most glider pilots do. So... The secret is out. Its says in the article you are gonna need to do some shaving down below... Who would have guessed it... All those kinky glider pilots... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgmwa Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 It happened to me a few months ago on a charter flight in an old workhorse King Air (as a passenger) with four or five others for company. Did the right thing of course, and made sure I went before getting on the plane. All good. Then 15 mins into a 2 1/2 hour flight - Oh no! - what's this uncomfortable rumbling sensation in the lower regions? Not so good! Now what? Check the time. Momentary panic. Trapped! Can't get out now because we're at 21,000 feet. Glance wistfully out the window at civilization below, then at the high altitude cramped cabin that I'm stuck in with these comparative strangers. Feel decidedly claustrophobic and very uncomfortable. OK, relax, loosen the seat belt, push backrest back and slide lower in the seat, quietly undo belt to take some pressure off, focus on nice deep breathing, close eyes, listen to the soothing sound of the engines. Open eyes after a while and look around. Everybody else is unbearably cheerful and enjoying the flight. $$#^&!! Check the time, mild panic, that can't be right! - the minute hand must be stuck. Let the mind go blank again. Maybe if I pretend I'm a Tibetan lama and try to rise to a higher plane - imagine serene landscapes, drifting clouds, nice calm thoughts. That kind of helps. Like the Canadian Rockies autumn mural my dentist has thoughtfully stuck to the entire ceiling of his surgery. Time passes slowly by in a semi stupor. The situation in the guts is not too good. Hard to ignore. Not sure if I'm going to make it. It's not going to be pleasant. Open eyes again and check the time. An hour and fifteen to go. Hopes rise slightly. Maybe we'll get there! Relax again. Don't get too confident. Listen to those engines taking us closer to that nice little room on the ground with every passing minute. Endless droning of engines. The others have all nodded off quite contentedly. If only they knew the internal battles that were being fought silently in their midst. Ah, finally! He's just throttled back and the plane is tilting down. There may be hope yet! Risk another glance at the watch. Only twenty minutes to go. Come on, put those flaps down! Hey, we're suddenly in the circuit. Nice big sweeping 180 degree turn from downwind onto final. Good pilot! Doesn't waste time doing those neat little corners like I try to do. Wheels hit the ground. Feeling better now. Could probably last another hour. Momentary panic again. No, its OK, relax, just joking! Right, off the plane. Not too fast now, just a nonchalant rapid stroll towards that lovely little terminal building. Like an oasis in the desert. Don't run. Don't want to create the wrong impression at this late stage. rgmwa 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exadios Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 So... The secret is out. Its says in the article you are gonna need to do some shaving down below... Who would have guessed it... All those kinky glider pilots... Its details like this that are the reason that glider pilots have better sex lives than power pilots. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Howard Hughes Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Well, after relating my story to the BIL, here's his answer to my problem aka 'the pisserphone', although our one runs out a hole in the floor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Evans Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 A couple of big mouth Gatorade bottles for me. If your quick you can empty them on the grass by the plane before anyones the wiser, after you land. Then wash them out at the nearest tap, and their ready to go again. Some people do get a little sensitive about people dumping their stale piss around airports though. I mean your not the only one dumping it are you.Ferried a lightwing from Rockhampton to Townsville once, come to think of it , it's the one Doug Evans bought recently. So Doug this story is for you !!....... A couple of hours into the flight needed to go No 1 bigtime. Didn't have anything on board (pre-Gatorade bottles) so a look around the cabin for something I could use. Spotted orange plastic Chamois container. Hmmmn big enough to do the job, but it has a small hole in the end. I do my thing holding my finger over hole. OK, what the hell am I going to do with it now ???!!.......Can't put it anywhere because of the hole !.. I open the door a little and feed it into the slipstream, three or four times during the flight. On arrival at Townsville the red-headed female owner runs over excitedly to view her new aircraft with the fresh white paint.....and the very obvious little yellow stain down the pilots' side !!......................................................Maj... No wonder I have to replace the skins on my plane now 'I know why """""""""""""""""""""""""""'' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 aka 'the pisserphone', although our one runs out a hole in the floor! Same as the Caribou. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying dog Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Reading the glider link and article: I would hate to have a hairy appendage. Shaving around the "bottom" of it would be difficult enough, but have to shave the actual length as well. Yikes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne T Mathews Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Same as the Caribou. The Caribou has 3 pisserphones. The one down the back on the R/H side has a down going periscope thingy that allows it to be lowered down into clear airflow. Part of the preflight was to check it hadn't been turned 180 degrees, because if it had, it'd blow your pee back at you rather than dump it overboard in the slip stream. I can't remember where the two pilot seat phones came out. Over the years I spent on the old girl, I only remember a couple of blokes trying to use the front phones, and they were just checking them out so to speak. The consensus seemed to be it was too hard to pee while sitting in the pilot's seat, so everyone went down the back. On the rare occasion when a lady needed to go in the Caribou, I rigged a screen across the back by putting a tiedown strap btween the upper seatback rails, and hanging towells over it. Then give the lady a sick bag which when she'd finnished, we would jettison out the back door. Who knows, there may be farmers out there who have secret horror stories of being smote from the heavens by soggy, evil smelling white paper bags. And yair, I know there's rules about not throwing things out of aircraft... So I know we shouldn't have done it... But the risk of leaking corrosive fluid causing problems was enough to warrant the jettisoning of the container. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 .......Who knows, there may be farmers out there who have secret horror stories of being smote from the heavens by soggy, evil smelling white paper bags.... Perhaps all that is needed for an Australian follow on Movie to the "Gods must be crazy" Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying dog Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Now there is a good (if not great) movie! Got the two DVDs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Further down in the article it talks about using a tube from inside the cockpit (snigger) to go in... Talks about having to get the size and shape of the tube just right to provide the correct amount of suction....!!! Get that wrong and you are either going to have the best flight of your life or loose it.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exadios Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Further down in the article it talks about using a tube from inside the cockpit (snigger) to go in... Talks about having to get the size and shape of the tube just right to provide the correct amount of suction....!!! Get that wrong and you are either going to have the best flight of your life or loose it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another thing... Further down it says a good position for the waste tube exit is on the bottom of the gear door fairing... imagine if you ripped the fairing off on landing with that attached to your wedding tackle!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flying dog Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 I'm going to have nightmares about some of this you know. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne T Mathews Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another thing...Further down it says a good position for the waste tube exit is on the bottom of the gear door fairing... imagine if you ripped the fairing off on landing with that attached to your wedding tackle!!!!! I was gunna click the like button, Win. But I just couldn't bring myself to doit... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultralights Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 ahh yes, the unisex lavatory Sea King style. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Be very careful with these contraptions. The inside of an aeroplane in motion is usually below ambient pressure. You may get some of your own back. Nev 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exadios Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Another thing...Further down it says a good position for the waste tube exit is on the bottom of the gear door fairing... imagine if you ripped the fairing off on landing with that attached to your wedding tackle!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icebob Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Hay Ultralights, Thanks for the trip down memory lane, the Wessex was worse, sometimes it would not "clear" and if you got some turbulance "just after" you got your own back and maybe someone elses too. Vomit was worse though. Bob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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