Weekend Quickies

[pudestcon]

I dialled a number and got the following recording:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes."

 

~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~~~~~

 

My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

 

~~~~~

 

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

 

 

 

~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one.

 

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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?" The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".

 

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nominated as the best short joke this year...

 

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.

 

 

[Guernsey]

'Weekend Quickies' Yep, I have a week end so it's always quick.

 

Alan.

 

 

[Deskpilot]

'Weekend Quickies' Yep, I have a week end so it's always quick. Alan.

Going on your logic, my weekends go on forever, they just never end

 

 

[damkia]

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention...

 

 

[planedriver]

The truth in life is......................... that sometimes immagination just deesn't measure up to expectations

 

 

[damkia]

Two psychiatrists friends exchanging pleasantries at a conference - "You're fine, how am I?