kgwilson Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REPEATS." *********************** An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old." --------------------------------- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. --------------------------------- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know whyI look this way. I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. ******************** When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. ------------------------------- One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. ********* First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper... it's worse when you forget to pull it down. ```````````````` Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing a mini skirt. What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours." ********************* 4
petetheprinta Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 It's bad/sad when you can relate to most of what's said above. 2
Guernsey Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Yes guys I was the guy that helped the young fella find his wife and she was so gratefull that she really thanked me in many ways at the back of one of the aisles whilst her hubby went to look for my wife. Isn't it great to see todays youngsters looking after us 'oldies' . Alan the Greatful. 1
kaz3g Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Yes guys I was the guy that helped the young fella find his wife and she was so gratefull that she really thanked me in many ways at the back of one of the aisles whilst her hubby went to look for my wife. Isn't it great to see todays youngsters looking after us 'oldies' .Alan the Greatful. Inya dreams! kaz 2
Bryon Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 Inya dreams!kaz Thats all he has. They used to be called fantasies 2
cscotthendry Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. That just does it for me!!!
David Isaac Posted July 11, 2012 Posted July 11, 2012 We should call him 'Alan the Bragger' ... LOL. Kaz's response was the best. On Ya Kaz ... 1
Guest Howard Hughes Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 At what point do I become part of the 'older mob'? Is it when I start having thoughts like "young people these days just don't get it"?
facthunter Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 New name for allan. Allan the great--full of ??? kaz You're right What a fantasy.! How does the song go? "You can't go to Gaol for what you're thinking". To allow someone to have their way with me would only entail the removal of my wallet these days Nev
skeptic36 Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Yes guys I was the guy that helped the young fella find his wife and she was so gratefull that she really thanked me in many ways at the back of one of the aisles whilst her hubby went to look for my wife. Isn't it great to see todays youngsters looking after us 'oldies' .Alan the Greatful. Alan knows his son and son-inlaw read this stuff, what he didn't realize is, his wife does too That's why we haven't heard from him for a while Regards Bill 1
damkia Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 "Don't grow old, there's no future in it." "Never worry about having more birthdays, worry about not having them." (From my late 83 yr old G/father, bald to within a skirt around the back of his neck) "You've only got so many hormones. If you want to waste them on you hair, that's your problem...." (also with his Parkinson's Disease) "One good thing about having Parkinson's is you don't need to buy an electric toothbrush, but an electric shaver is a necessity for continued existence." 1
Guest john Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 THE TEST OF TIME The test of time as indicated by the undermentioned proverb is as true today as it ever has been with the mess the world is in which we live . "Amatuers built the ark, Professionals built the Titanic"
facthunter Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Old age isn't much. You are not trained for it. There is no cure for it. It appears better that any alternative on offer. Nev 1
Gnarly Gnu Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Age Man Suit lets you experience your body as a 75-year-old ^ Looks like Kim Il Jong's outfit no? "Doctors spend a lot of time looking for ways to improve the lives of the elderly without actually knowing how it feels to be an older person engaging an active environment. Now researchers have come up with a way to give physicians new insight into their world." 2
damkia Posted July 12, 2012 Posted July 12, 2012 Age Man Suit lets you experience your body as a 75-year-old Doctors spend a lot of time looking for ways to improve the lives of the elderly without actually knowing how it feels to be an older person engaging an active environment. Now researchers have come up with a way to give physicians new insight into their world. The mask should have a blue tint to it rather than a yellow one (I only know this from being an RN, not though personal experience) 1
Guernsey Posted July 13, 2012 Posted July 13, 2012 Alan knows his son and son-inlaw read this stuff, what he didn't realize is, his wife does too That's why we haven't heard from him for a while Regards Bill Thanks guys for all your comical coments. people with a good sense of humour are ALWAYS much younger for their age. Sorry I haven't posted lately...been a bit 'tied up' somewhat, at the end of aisle three. Dreamer Alan. 1
allowera Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I believe that old age begins when you concentrate more on your past than your future. i.e. " I can't wait to get to aisle three" or "where did you say aisle three was again?". 1
damkia Posted July 25, 2012 Posted July 25, 2012 I believe that old age begins when you have more past than future. " I can't wait to get to aisle three" or "where did you say aisle three was again?". Kind of like having Alzheimer's and hiding your own Easter eggs.... Modified a bit.......
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