A damn fine explanation

[skeptic36]

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION

 

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

 

And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

 

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'

 

'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

 

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car..

 

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

 

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

 

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

 

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

 

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

 

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

 

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

 

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

 

 

[rankamateur]

Don't think this falls in the same catagory as the wife song.

 

 

[cscotthendry]

Then there was a click, followed by a bang.

 

 

[Owi]

Then there was a click, followed by a bang.

Ya mean "Chic-chic-boom!".

 

 

[cscotthendry]

Ya mean "Chic-chic-boom!".

Yep, how to get your 15 seconds of fame. Who can remember that girl's name?

 

 

[Mark11]

Very funny... Come to think of it my wife has a pair RM Williams boots I bought her 3-4 years ago (never worn), a couple of watches, a couple of handbags, a bottle of perfume, some earrings, a boat, a motorbike, a trailer and a 4wd...( she actually uses that)...

 

 

[rankamateur]

Fairly clever hiding the motorbike , boat and trailer in among the perfumes and jewelery. Wonder if my wife would fall for that, handbag, eternity ring, savannah kit, earrings.... nup didn't think so!