Tower Chatter

[Mark11]

Stumbled across a website with loads of funny chatter:-

 

Here are a few examples (Submitted by Viki Lishe - Braniff International Flight Attendant)

 

Cessna 152: "Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred"

 

Controller: " Roger, contact Houston Space Center"

 

727 pilot: "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?"

 

Controller: "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."

 

Controller: "USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.60.

 

(pause)

 

Controller: "USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!"

 

(pause)

 

Controller: "USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!"

 

Pilot: "Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!"

 

ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude."

 

N123YZ: "ALTITUDE!"

 

ATC: "N123YZ, say airspeed."

 

N123YZ: "AIRSPEED!"

 

ATC: "N123YZ, say cancel IFR."

 

N123YZ (Pause) "Eight thousand feet, one hundred fifty knots indicated."

 

ATC: "Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019."

 

Pan AM 1: "Could you give that to me in inches?"

 

ATC: "Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019."

 

Tower: "Aircraft on final, go around, there's an aircraft on the runway!"

 

Pilot Trainee: "Roger" (pilot continues approach)

 

Tower: "Aircraft, I said GO AROUND!!!"

 

Pilot Trainee: "Roger"

 

The trainee doesn't react, lands the aircraft on the numbers, rolls to a twin standing in the middle of the runway, goes around the twin and continues to the taxiway.

 

Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!"

 

Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

 

Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"