Retirement

[Case]

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

 

Question: How many days in a week?

 

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

 

 

 

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?

 

Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

 

 

 

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?

 

Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

 

 

 

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?

 

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

 

 

 

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

 

Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

 

 

 

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?

 

Answer: Tied shoes.

 

 

 

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?

 

Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

 

 

 

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoyswork and refuses to retire?

 

Answer: NUTS!

 

 

 

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?

 

Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of theiradult kids will want to store stuff there.

 

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?

 

Answer: Normal.

 

 

 

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?

 

Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

 

 

 

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back toschool as a retiree?

 

Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

 

 

 

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work,but misses the people he used to work with?

 

Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

 

 

My favorite one:

 

QUESTION: What do you do all week?

 

Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

 

 

[Deskpilot]

Oh how true. I used to dread retirement, now I'm enjoying it.

 

Good one Case, cheers, Doug

 

 

[Yenn]

The only downside to retirement is that I don't get the Long Weekends and Rostered Days Off. It really irritates me to hear others discussing what to do and I hadn't even realised that it was a day off.