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Posted

"PUSH HARDER,. . . . . HARDER. . . . . " I yelled at my wife when she was in labour . . . . . . . "Sod Off, I hate you. . . . you evil cruel Swine" . . . she screamed back at me. . . . .

 

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She was a little harsh, I thought to myself,. . . . after all, it wasn't MY fault the bloody car broke down on the way to the hospital. . . . . . .

 

 

Posted

Mate when you are married to someone , every thing BAD that happens is YOUR fault. Didn't they explain that to you? But for you, she would have married the "perfect" bloke she knew before you.. Nev

 

 

Posted

I was devastated this morning when the doctor confirmed my wife had a life ending tumor.

 

Or as he actually said, she's pregnant.

 

 

Posted

I love the usual comment about Johnny being an "accident"...

 

All that huffing, puffing, moaning, and groaning and you call it an "accident"?

 

I'd hate to think of what you would be doing for a "planned" pregnancy.......

 

 

Posted

I recall the day I got married and saw my wife in her beautiful WHITE dress... I made the comment that "I now have a dishwasher to match my fridge".

 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted

I came home from the pub 5 minutes late last night, slapped her on the ass and said "You're next"..

 

Imagine getting hit on the head with a pan for being just 5 bloody minutes late!!

 

 

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