Phil's Giggles 3

[Phil Perry]

Two blondes walked int0 a building. . . . . . .well, you'd think at least ONE of them would have seen it. . .

 

A guy walks into a psychiatrists wearing shorts made of cling film . . . the psychiatrist says, " I can already see your nuts. . . .

 

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day,. . .but I couldn't find any. . . .

 

I took my huge Rottweiler to the vets and told him the dog was cross eyed. . . . the vet picked him up and had a close look at his eyes, he then said, "well,. . . I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to put him down " . . . . . I said "WHY - what for . . ? ! ! ! ) the vet said, . . ."Because he's bloody heavy "

 

I went to the butchers yesterday and bet him $50.00 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. . . . He said. . . . " Sorry, Ican't do it. . . . . . .the steak is too high "

 

I went for a dance at a seafood disco the other night, and pulled a muscle.

 

Telephone answering machine message : " If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key. . . . "

 

I went to see the doctor and said, " Doc, I've got a really strange problem with my ears, the doctor said "What's that ? " I said, . . . in one ear I can hear Delilah, and in the other one I hear the green green grass of home. . . He replied. . . . " It's not unusual "

 

I went to see the Doctor and said, "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside " he said. . . "Howz that" I said. . . . "Don't YOU bloody start !!! "

 

 

[old man emu]

It must be snowing pretty hard in Cannock. Someone's got cabin fever real bad.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day,. . .but I couldn't find any. . . .

Reminds me, and true story...

 

I flew 15 of my family over for my birthday last year and we were all sitting in a big public park drinking tea while watching some sword dance people practicing in one area, some older people doing Tai Chi in another and some kids learning Kung Fu just behind us.

 

I pointed to an obviously empty area of the Park and said to the Family "You see the Ninja's practicing over there?"

 

- they all had a seriously good look and all aswered "No? .." to which I replied "Yeah, good aren't they ...!!"

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Bex. . . . There's no apostrophe in a plural. . . . didn't your really attractive schoolmistress teach you ANYTHING ! ! ! ! ! ! NINJAS ( for more than one. . .) . . . Ninja for singular (! ) speaking Chinese is seriously burggering up your Inglish, Freund - Effendi - Arkademis - Ami . . . . ( ! ) But don't worry, I get this all the time with my sideline sign making business,. . . . like. . . Fish and Chip's. . . .(!) and M.O.T's ( vehicle tests ) and you even see it on bloody ROADSIGNS . . . ie, this road unsutable for HGV's . . . . I dunno,. . . the language is being slowly subverted thanks to the text message - ologists. . . .! ! LOL (had to put that bit in for the Facebooker's) ! I rekon weel all be spkng Txt aftr a fw yrs az mst ppl wnt be cpbl of prpr lngwge anywy, so wtst the pnt ! Tho it duz wry me a bt about hw the sftwr in airlnr cntrl sistms wil be rit, wen pilotz fnly cnt spk proper bloody English. . . . . B U T. . . .I'm not a Luddite, and if this is progress, then I shall have to embrace it too. . . . . . ( YUK )

 

fil

 

 

[bexrbetter]

didn't your really attractive schoolmistress teach you ANYTHING !

You answered your own question there .....

 

speaking Chinese is seriously burggering up your Inglish

More truth to that than you know, when I come to Oz my family all have a go at me for speaking Chinglish!