Phil's Giggles 4

[Phil Perry]

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu?. . . . But I think its probably Colin.

 

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other “Your round.” The other one says “So are you, you fat bugger"

 

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

 

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

 

A man walked into the doctors, he said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places” The doctor said, “Well don’t go there anymore”

 

I went to the doctors. He said ‘I’d like you to lie on the couch’. I said ‘What for?’. . . . He said ‘I’d like to sweep the floor’.

 

Heard the one about two aerials meeting on a house roof, falling in love, and getting married? . . . . The ceremony was rubbish . . . . but the reception was brilliant.

 

I went to the Gold Coast for a weekend away. . . I found a private hotel with a vacancy sign and banged on the locked door. This woman opened an upstairs window and said "Waddyer Want ? " I said, "Can you let me in,. . . I'd like to look round. . ." She said. . . . ."You look Round enough to me already yer fat Beggar".

 

 

[Sapphire]

The guy drinking the battery acid would never get charged around my place. Recently bought two battery chargers and both failed-chinese junk.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

The guy drinking the battery acid would never get charged around my place. Recently bought two battery chargers and both failed-chinese junk.

Sorry Mate,. . . . . . . . Being a POM, I'm naturally a bit thick, but I thought a Chinese Junk was some sort of boat ? . . . . . . ( ! )

 

 

[bexrbetter]

or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu?

You're leaving openings for me Phil ...

 

"Ho" is pronounced "whore" in Chinese (no joke) and Chinese driver Ho Pin-Tung was talking to a few F1 teams a couple of years back including, Virgin!

 

Just imagine - Virgin entices Ho, Ho drives Virgin, Ho tests Virgin - could have been an endless line of them not to mention if he had got the drive with Renault and had an accident involving a Virgin or if he finished a race just ahead of one of Branson's cars - Stop press; Tung licks Virgin!

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho-Pin_Tung

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Bex,. . . . you are sicker than me. . . . . . .

 

Get therapy soon, ( I dunno what that is in Chinese. . .NO - DON'T TELL ME ! )

 

Oh,. . . .and DID YOU KNOW ( wait for it. . . ) That in most American movies I've seen, that the term "HO" was also atributed to women of low repute. . . . . .Particularly when Whoopie Goldberg mentioned it in Yank movies. . . . and on another tack, can you get the Chinese Government to tell that twat in North Korea that we REALLY DON'T want a nuclear war ?????

 

( Sorry to get political. . . . but you are there, and it's probably just down the road. . . . and since you are a proper Aussie. . . .he'll probably listen to you. . . . . .! )

 

Phil

 

 

[bexrbetter]

and on another tack, can you get the Chinese Government to tell that twat in North Korea that we REALLY DON'T want a nuclear war ?????

Chinese general public don't like him, they think he's an idiot.

 

Generally China doesn't support the DPRK because they never recognised or said thanks for all the Chinese soldiers that died during the Korean war and they didn't pay for all the weapons sold to them.

 

China gives billions in aid during Winter but that's simply humanitarian, families genuinely need oil for heating or they would literally freeze to death.