Whilst not a aviation thread... It's a piece of Army wit!

[River]

The Chain of Command....

 

VIP Visit at Unit Level.

 

Commanding Officer to Adjutant:

 

“At 1000 hrs. tomorrow the Adjutant General will be paying us a visit. He doesn’t want any special arrangements made, but would like to walk around and visit the Officers’ and Sergeants Messes. It’s too early for a drink, but he’d like to say a few words. We’d better be ready for him from 0945 hrs. onwards.”

 

Adjutant to Company Commanders:

 

“The Colonel says that the Adjutant General is paying a special visit to the battalion at 0945 hrs. tomorrow. He’d like to say a few words as he walks around the barracks and then have early drinks in the Officers’ and Sergeants’ Messes. You’d better be ready for him from 0930 hrs. onwards.”

 

Company Commanders to Platoon Commanders:

 

“At 0930 hrs. tomorrow the Adjutant is bringing some General to have an early drink and a few words with the battalion, and then walk around the Officers’ and Sergeants’ Messes. We’d better be ready for him from 0915 hrs.”

 

Platoon Commanders to Platoon Sergeants:

 

“At 0915 hrs. tomorrow the Adjutant is having early drinks with the General. The battalion is to walk around barracks while the General has a few words with the Officers and Sergeants Messes. We’d better be ready at 0900 hrs.”

 

Platoon Sergeants to Section Commanders:

 

“The General is coming at 0900 hrs. tomorrow to have a few words with the Adjutant about his drinking. We’d better stand by from 0845 hrs. in case he walks around the barracks.”

 

Section Commanders to Soldiers:

 

“The Adjutant is walking around barracks at 0845 hrs. tomorrow because some General has had a few words with him about early drinking. We’d better stand by from 0830 hrs.”

 

Soldiers - amongst themselves:

 

“The Officers and Sergeants will be walking around barracks tomorrow drinking with the Adjutant, who’s just been made a bloody General. We’d better keep out of the way from 0815 hrs.”

 

 

 

[AVOCET]

Send reinforcements we'are going to advance:::::::::::::::::..............

 

Send 3 and 4 /pence , we're GOING TO A DANCE ?????

 

"I heard this from so'n'so ,:::::......

 

Who got it got it straight from the horses mouth , "Hay"

 

Now ? Where have I heard that ,recently ???

 

Cheers ,Mike.

 

 

[Yenn]

In the army I was in if a general or anyone above Lt. Colonel was coming to the barracks, all hell would break out. My first reaction was to apply for a posting.

 

Once in the cookhouse with one of those inspections, we had good food and the place was clean and tidy. The visiting officer asked if there were any complaints. One man stood up and said "Why can't it be like this for the other 364 days?" I don't know what happened to him because he disappeared never to be seen again. I don't think he was promoted.

 

 

[facthunter]

Who called the cook a B@$tard?? (pause)..reply.. Who called the b@$tard a COOK.? Nev

 

 

[Deskpilot]

On the subject of cook houses (Mess) I was once held in a Pool Flight waiting for a course to begin at a very large training facility(RAF Yatesbury...that was). I was assigned temporarily to the catering office where the WO in charge put me in charge of checking off deliveries to the 3 separate messes on the camp. I had to accompany all trucks to each mess and check off the quantities of each delivery be it bread, meat or veggies. One day a load of mushooms were on board and 'somehow' I managed to send all the stalks to the officers mess, and all the tops to the airman's mess. Can't remember what the Sergent's mess got, probably the dirt. The next day, The WO in charge got a bollocking from some Officer but afterwards he turned to me and said "Well done lad, well done"

 

To this day, I swear I don't know how it happened, honest.