Cricket season warnings for the fairer sex

[planedriver]

"NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,

 

 

 

 

 



Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Randier than a sailor who's been six months at sea,

 

 

 

 

 



Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



First let's take the paceman, pure speed from first to last!

 

 

 

 

 



My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Then there's the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;

 

 

 

 

 



He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.

 

 

 

 

 



If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength;

 

 

 

 

 



He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.

 

 

 

 

 



Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!

 

 

 

 

 



He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.

 

 

 

 

 



When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;

 

 

 

 

 



When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about;

 

 

 

 

 



And if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,

 

 

 

 

 



He doesn't mind if he's last man in, as long as he gets a knock.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:

 

 

 

 

 



Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



And watch the wicketkeeper, girls, he's full of flair and dash;

 

 

 

 

 



And if you raise your heel, he'll whip them off in a flash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;

 

 

 

 

 



Or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,

 

 

 

 

 



He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;

 

 

 

 

 



You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:

 

 

 

 

 



!!!!NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!