Down in the south.

[PA.]

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

 

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.

 

After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'

 

The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

 

The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

 

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

 

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

 

 

[PA.]

Earlier this year, a group of bikers were riding out when they saw a girl about to jump off the Humber Bridge . So they stopped.

 

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Policeman who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

 

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

 

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

 

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the Policeman, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

 

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

 

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.