Actual ATC Conversations

[Guest Glenn]

Student Pilot: "I'm lost; I'm over a lake and heading toward the big E."

 

Controller: "Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar."

 

(short pause)...

 

Controller: "Okay then. That lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to

 

the big W immediately ..."

 

Tower: "...and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach."

 

Speedbird: "That's correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right"

 

Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!".

 

Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"

 

Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was bored, not stupid!"

 

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, One o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."

 

United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got that Fokker in sight."