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Guest Guest
Posted

Airplane maintenance

 

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

 

(P) = Problem (S) = Solution

 

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(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement

 

(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

 

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(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough

 

(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

 

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(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid

 

(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

 

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(P) Something loose in cockpit

 

(S) Something tightened in cockpit

 

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(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear

 

(S) Evidence removed

 

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(P) DME volume unbelievably loud

 

(S) Volume set to more believable level

 

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(P) Dead bugs on windshield

 

(S) Live bugs on order

 

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(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent

 

(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

 

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(P) IFF inoperative

 

(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

 

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(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick

 

(S) That's what they're there for

 

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(P) Number three engine missing

 

(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

 

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(P) Aircraft handles funny

 

(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

 

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(P) Target Radar hums

 

(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Sunshy
Posted

(P) Birdstrike likely during takeoff

 

(S) Can happen during landing too

 

(P) DME#2 radio reception very poor quality on 747AM (BBC radio station)

 

(S) DME not installed for inflight entertainment

 

(P) All galley ovens U/S

 

(S) Changed cabin crew, now satis (love that one, used it a lot)

 

(P) Nav database due in 24 hours

 

(S) So?

 

(P) Seatrows 11 and 12 do not recline (emergency exit rows)

 

(S) Tell me if they do

 

(P) Ashtray in cockpit used (against company regulations)

 

(S) You naughty pilot you

 

 

  • 18 years later...

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