Austers I have known

[sixtiesrelic]

I used to be in the QVAS? Qld Vintage Aircraft Section (of the Sports Aircraft Association) in the seventies? how?s that for a mouthful?

 

The members were people who owned or liked elderly aeroplanes got together and had the odd fly in or evening of lies and slides.

 

Generally those who had an aeroplane that could fly would try and take for a bit of a ride, the close to, or recently divorced, gaunt, malnourished rebuilders who were goin' without food so they could purchase some more sticks or a bit of rag for their long term rebuild.

 

Strange sort of coves who got in raptures over gussets, semi-complete, turtledecks and neat rib-stitching.

 

It soon became evident that there were two hotly separated factions in this mob. ( It was a friendly war).

 

There were the Tiger Moth advocates and the Auster enthusiasts and they never could agree with each other?s opinion on ?that other heap of junk?.

 

I sort of hovered in between? could see the pros and cons of each type? I didn?t own one which helped with my impartiality.

 

I got to fly one Auster on a number of occasions. An evil bugger of a thing that got a REPUTATION amongst all who knew IT.

 

I flew the new owner to Warwick in a Tripacer so he could pick it up and fly it back to the old Caboolture strip in company with me. On first examination VH-CDS seemed like a nice enough aeroplane. I had a burn in it at Caboolture after we landed and put some fuel in and it behaved it?s self.

 

Can?t remember if it was silver or Ivan resprayed IT the unsightly, drab, brown and yellow soon after owning it.

 

I?d only done one circuit in an Auster in the mid sixties out at Windorah with its owner Herby Rabic.

 

I held her off and held her off and the tailwheel touched down before the mains. I was a bit embarrassed about that till old Herby drawled that it was a good landing? I?d REALLY stalled her on.

 

Herby had a Tiger Moth out on his station at Cuddapan as well.

 

That was the sort of plane you?d see in a comedy western? a poor dilapidated example of the marque.

 

One tyre was pretty flat so she exhibited a beaut angle of bank as she sat forlornly with her nose poking out of a dusty shed on the edge of the strip.

 

The most striking thing about her however, was the oil stains in the cracked fabric all the way back to behind the rear cockpit.

 

Many who viewed her decided they wouldn?t take up any offers of a ride in her? bit sus as to her strength with all that oil soaking into the timber and fabric and GLUE!

 

Funnily, Spensley the assistant senior regional captain of TAA was an adventurous cove and took her up threw her around and did a loop, much to the distress of a hand wringing, Herby who also must have had his doubts too, as he witnessed this brush with death.

 

How was he gona explain the loss of a Twin Otter pilot to TAA. Stewie was on a channel country run and had lobbed in to Cuddapan on his way back to Windorah.

 

Heard later of a couple of blokes who drove out to Cuddapan and bought her and proudly transported her back to the coast for a rebuild.

 

Anyway! Back to CDS

 

Ivan was off aviating in IT one day soon after becoming the proud owner, when there was a funny noise. Sort of extra wind noise, soon followed by increase in volume and a ripping sound.

 

He looked around and got a bit startled as he saw the fabric slowly tearing from it?s anchor point at the rear of the overhead Perspex roof.

 

A rectangular hole was growing steadily bigger.

 

Ivan quickly close the throttle and pulled the stick back to reduce the speed to a bit above the stall before deciding on the next action.

 

He couldn?t reach around to the fabric to yank it back inside and stop the steady ripping. It had travelled well out of arm?s reach and was jerkily travelling aft in occasional bursts while flapping madly

 

He had visions of the fabric wrapping it?s self around the rudder and makin? life more difficult.

 

He managed to get to the ground before things got uncontrollable.

 

Forget where he landed and how they fixed it.

 

This was the first of many naughty things this aeroplane did to occupants, so she soon became known as Charlie Dead Shit to all who knew her.

 

IT was a cantankerous old cow on the ground. Many of us unlovingly, referred to her as ?IT?.

 

Like most Austers IT had heel brakes? some nasty plot the designers foisted onto pilots? probably jealous and decided to punish them.

 

Those heel brakes were right buggers. They hid under the rudder pedals and required a bloke with legs like a weight lifter to operate. They were cable connections from pedal to drum.

 

Pilot, on noticing judicious use of brakes might be needed, slid down in the seat and suffered back spasms as he did a stretch you probably find personal trainers favour or a movement people who get cramps in their calves do.

 

He?d pull his toes up, as far as he could, and locate the tiny nobs with his heels and then, PUUUUSSSH.

 

All that happened was, he couldn?t see what he wanted to avoid and the cables took up the slack. Aeroplane carried on smoothly or accelerated.

 

The brakes DID work the first application after the cables had been tensioned? then they stretched.

 

Best to taxi slowly and steer to avoid the problem.

 

Old Charlie Dead Shit had her favourites, who she?d purr along in an exemplary manner giving not a moment?s concern, BUT there were those who must have offended her and she punished THEM often? severely!

 

Many an airman was noted to do a snappy, three sixty while taxiing along, which got the interest of spectators who felt a bit of a turn the opposite way would have been better.

 

Those who knew old Charlie Dead Shit knew she was up to her old tricks.

 

On reflection, I believe she was the reincarnation of an elderly, jaded, stripper, with a huge chip on her shoulder who had come to a nasty and sudden demise.

 

She was a regular one for taking it into her head to suddenly hoot off into the scrub while taxiing for no apparent reason, other than a bit of lateral slope.

 

Picture a ?lady? passing the window of a shoe shop or one who was passing an alley and didn?t want to confront a fan who sat boozily ogling at her, as she performed her ?act? in a smoky establishment most nights, that she?d spotted coming along a footpath towards her in the bright light of day.

 

It was discovered by a pilot/engineer, after bending the undercarriage on a beach landing, that he?d added to the already present bit of a distortion someone forgot to report. She behaved admirably on the ground when another leg was fitted.

 

As for the stripper part, make your own mind up.

 

Ivan was chugging along happily when there was a mighty bang and lots of wind.

 

The old girl had cast off the Perspex canopy which looked very pretty with the sun flashing off it as it slowly, spun earthward.

 

Ivan got a real start ? didn?t do his heart any good at all, as he recalled the previous fabric peeling back.

 

No problem! They?d attached the new fabric to the airframe ambitiously and it held.

 

Another emergency descent at an alarmingly slow airspeed.

 

She shed Perspex sliding windows from out of the doors with abandon. Poor old Ivan was always worrying he was going to get a call from DCA concerning unauthorised dropping of articles from an aircraft or a please explain as to why he?d landed in an irate landowners paddock with out permission.

 

Many years have passed now. Sadly Ivan died? heart problem.

 

Recently, easily recognisable brown and yellow bits of aeroplane stacked on the back of a trailer heading south were spotted by a bloke going in the opposite direction.

 

The spotter, ?An old lover? chased the rig and pulled the driver over and had a chat.

 

After years of storage, Charlie Dead Shit was off to Adelaide for a rebuild.

 

Hopefully that jaded stripper will escape and she?ll become a lady?

 

Hope to hell the new bloke doesn?t paint her that drab brown and yellow.

 

I think she?ll hold a grudge if he does.

 

 

[Guest Glenn]

Gee 60's, ever thought about writing a book? I bet you could fill it with no worries. :)

 

I've been in an Auster a couple times now. Bit scary landing and talking off. They have a habit of not wanting to go staright, but still a nice plane to ride in.

 

 

[sixtiesrelic]

Have written one about my old boarding school just for fun.

 

I'm keeping these stories and will bung them together one day.

 

Funny thing happened in old Herbie's Auster some years after I had that quick fly.

 

He landed on a very shallow low ridge out in that flat channel country when it was in flood. It was a bit like an aircraft carrier. A narrow strip of land surrounded by inundated flood water.

 

The walk to where he wanted to go would be knee deep.

 

Had a slight hitch when, on landing the oyster took over on the landing roll and slid off the ridge and slewed sideways before coming to rest against a tree.

 

Old Herby was in a bit of a fix.

 

Plane leaned against the tree which was between the wing and tailplane.

 

Herby couldn't budge the tail to pull it around so he could bypass the tree as there was a bit of a drop off into deeper water.

 

If he could chop the tree down he'd be ok. He could taxi straight ahead and turn back onto the strip.

 

NO AXE! and couldn't walk to one.

 

Had a 303 and lots of shells, so he sat there patiently, blasting bits off the tree till it was thin enough to break. Couldn't put a slug through it... too hard.

 

Took quite a few packets of bullets as it was a hard old warrior and wasn't giving in easily.