A man walks into a bar...

[Guest Thrasher]

An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

 

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"

 

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

 

A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."

 

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

 

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

 

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "What, Gary?"

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."