bomb on a plane!!!

[Guest g_i_jack029]

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb. -Benny Hill

 

Landing on the ship during the daytime is like sex, it's either good or it's great. Landing on the ship at night is like a trip to the dentist, you may get away with no pain, but you just don't feel comfortable.

 

— LCDR Thomas Quinn, USN

 

WHY I WANT TO BE A PILOT

 

When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it's a fun job and easy to do. That's why there are so many pilots flying around these days.

 

Pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.

 

I guess they should be able to read a road map, too.

 

Pilots should be brave to they won't get scared it it's foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off.

 

Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the clouds, and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are.

 

The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots don't because they know how easy it is.

 

I hope I don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick, I couldn't be a pilot and then I would have to go to work.

 

— purported to have been written by a fifth grade student at Jefferson School, Beaufort, SC. It was first published in the South Carolina Aviation News

 

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

 

— George Bernard Shaw

 

You know they invented wheelbarrows, to teach FAA inspectors to walk on their hind legs.

 

— Marty Caidin

 

here's just a few from http://www.skygod.com/quotes/flyingjokes.html