Tales from the RAF

[Guest Canberra Man]

One of our Canberras is going on a navex and I am in front controlling start up. I point to the port engine, there is a bang and a cloud of black smoke as the turbo starter does its job. I point to the starboard engine and all hell lets loose. The turbo starter explodes. Broken turbo blades go through the side of the fuselage and rupture No 1 tank. Kerosene pours out on to the still burning fragments of the cartridge and the whole lot goes up. The aircrew are out in ten seconds flat and brought their parachutes, they had to they would have had to have paid for them. A phone call to the fire section had their brand new Rolls powered fire engine coming round the peri track. It halted at the binfire and an erk in gents natty asbestos suiting jumped down and pointed a big pipe at the blaze and shouted "Send it fru". The trouble was, noffink came froo! They had been so busy polishing their new toy, they had forgotten to fill it with foam! We just carried on warming our hands, it was a cold day. Then the wheel hubs and the cockpit coaming, which are made of magneseum alloy flared up with a bright flash, we just looked the other way. Then, somebody muttered "What about the ejector seats". We all backed of another few yard and sure enough, there was a triple explosion and three steel tubes dragging the remains of the seats shot a couple of hundred feet into the air. The next morning, there was a perfect silhouette of a Canberra, burnt into the tarmac with two avons still in situ. There were also new faces at the fire sectiona few days later.

 

Ken

 

 

[Warrior]

Human Factors strike when you least expect it.

 

What a sad loss to aviation Ken.

 

 

[Guest Glenn]

Great story but where and when was it?

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

Great story but where and when was it?

Hi.

 

It was at RAF Binbrook (Now long gone) in Lincolnshire in 1953.

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

There's a new erk on the dispersal and I am showing him round the Lincoln. The NAAFI wagon had just been and as it was a cold day we went into the nose out of the wind and I carried on my chat while wehad our elevenses. Break over we tidied up and before I could stop him the new lad threw his coffee dregs down what looked like a drain in floor. It wasn't a drain, far worse. There was a bang and a thud and a ten man dinghy came out of its stowage in the wing root and inflated. The look alike drain was the flotation switch for the dinghy in case of a ditching at sea. The lad had 7 days confined to camp and had to pay towards the cost of replacing the dinghy.

 

Ken

 

 

[willedoo]

So Ken, the flotation switch, is it water activated in case of ditching? I can imagine it as something which would float up via liquid to a certain point & then activate. Sounds like a good idea.

 

Regards,

 

willedoo.

 

 

[willedoo]

Well, Ken, between you & Mr. Google, I'm learning a lot here. I now know what an erk is and I googled NAAFI Wagon & it said it was British WW2 slang for a mobile catering truck. It's good that you talk a slightly different lingo than us, it encourages people to be a bit inquisitive & look a bit deeper into all our aviation history. The history of military & civilian aviation is so rich, I hope we can all help to preserve it. When they look back on the great achievements of the human race, the fact that we flew will be one of the highest. Hope to hear more from you.

 

Regards,

 

Willie.

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

One night flying sortie for a 9 Squadron Canberra over the Theddlethorpe and Donna Nook ranges didn't turn out as expected and a 25lb smokeand flash practice bomb went through the fan light of the ladies toilet at the Prussian Queen public house. Luckilly time had been called 2 or 3 hours earlier and the only damage was to the toilet and the aircrew's feelings! Fl/lt Ted Flavell wrote a song about the deed to the tune of "Oh Dear What Can The Matter Be".

 

Oh dear, what can the matter be.

 

Threeold ladies locked in the lavatory.

 

Hiding from bombs Monday to Saturday.

 

9 Squadron knew they were there.

 

The first one name, Elizabet Bonner.

 

Shw went away for safety fron Donna.

 

But the bomb that was dropped, still fell upon her.

 

9 Squadron knew she was there.

 

TYhe second ones name was Mary Anna Styles.

 

Shw thought she was safe by 4 or 5 miles.

 

Till down came the bomb which banished her smiles.

 

For 9 Squadron knew she was there.

 

The third victims name was Mrs O'Connor.

 

The other two ladies blamed it upon her.

 

But "Flavell" knew better, upstairs in his bomber.

 

For he knew the ladies were there.

 

The stories near over and sorry to say.

 

9 Squadron aircraft are bombing today.

 

So the ladies oif Donna are moving away.

 

For the Prussian Queen bog is the target they say.

 

finis!

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

Hi.

 

Prior to my RAF service, I did national service in the Royal Artillery on ack ack. (3.7inch guns) We did practice camps where we acually fired them (No ear defenders in those days so after thundering ack ack guns and screaming jets, at 81 I am somwhat deaf! Any way back to the story. We were at Bude in Cornwall firing at a drogue towed by a Miles Master (That dates me on its own!) We were bangin away and instead of a bang the breech just went 'click!!'. The officer in charge roared " Number 1 gun misfire. All crews take cover, number 1 crew stand fast." He cast his beady over us and said."Gun number 3 (ME) safety range". Ouch. I went up to the platform, the breech was gently opened and the shell eased our half way, the explosive cap was inspected, it was dented, so the firing pin worked. The shell was gently removed from the tray and handed down to me, the safety range was 200 yards behind the guns, I though I'd get it over quick and started to trot, his nibs shouted."Walk, you might jar it." That made sense, I made my way to the pit at the range, went down, laid the shell gently on the sand bags, put 2 more on top, then I ran!

 

Another day, the Master was plodding away with the shell bursting yards behind him, when one shell explode a hundred yards in 'Front' of the Master and being connected to the tannoy system, we heard the pilot. "I'm pulling this B.....d not pushing it". Another fun day to go in my memory banl!

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

Hi.Prior to my RAF service, I did national service in the Royal Artillery on ack ack. (3.7inch guns) We did practice camps where we acually fired them (No ear defenders in those days so after thundering ack ack guns and screaming jets, at 81 I am somwhat deaf! Any way back to the story. We were at Bude in Cornwall firing at a drogue towed by a Miles Master (That dates me on its own!) We were bangin away and instead of a bang the breech just went 'click!!'. The officer in charge roared " Number 1 gun misfire. All crews take cover, number 1 crew stand fast." He cast his beady over us and said."Gun number 3 (ME) safety range". Ouch. I went up to the platform, the breech was gently opened and the shell eased our half way, the explosive cap was inspected, it was dented, so the firing pin worked. The shell was gently removed from the tray and handed down to me, the safety range was 200 yards behind the guns, I though I'd get it over quick and started to trot, his nibs shouted."Walk, you might jar it." That made sense, I made my way to the pit at the range, went down, laid the shell gently on the sand bags, put 2 more on top, then I ran!

Another day, the Master was plodding away with the shell bursting yards behind him, when one shell explode a hundred yards in 'Front' of the Master and being connected to the tannoy system, we heard the pilot. "I'm pulling this B.....d not pushing it". Another fun day to go in my memory banl!

 

Ken

Hi.

We have a new engine mech on the dispersal and the discussion is what to do for his initiation. The Avon rear bearing was suggested, this would entail a crawl up the jet pipe and inspect the bearing. He was told what to do, was slid into the jet pipe with a torch I thought I would add my own scare and as soon as he was 'inserted' I dashed round to the cockpit switched on the power and the high energy ignition, 200 volts at 400 amps makes a hell of a cracking noise. It was a talking point on the dispersall for a few days as to how a five foot nine bloke could turn round in a three foot jet pipe and exit remembering to bring out the torch.

 

 

[siznaudin]

What great stories Ken ... who needs professional comedians when we've got the government funded armed services!!

 

Here's a lovely thought: taken at Talbot House, (Toc H), Poperinghe

 

 

 

[Guest Canberra Man]

So Ken, the flotation switch, is it water activated in case of ditching? I can imagine it as something which would float up via liquid to a certain point & then activate. Sounds like a good idea.Regards,

willedoo.

Hi.

Good guess willedo,but not quite right. The flotation switch is two contacts, one side goes to the 24 volt supply, the other contact goes to the cartridge that inflates the dinghy, salt water is conductive, bridges the two contacts, BANG dinghy inflates. Sorry for the delay.

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest spark617]

One of our Canberra's has been to an MU to have some Radar gear fitted and the crew that flew it back complained that the G4 compass was erratic on the way back. We checked the F700 to see if anything similar had occured before. It seems, at the MU, the port tip tank had been replaced. Warning bells rang, the flux detector for the G4 compass is in the port wing tip. We removed the panels for the tiptank bolts and got it! At full stretch, I rescued a tip tank bolt in close proximity to the flux detector! Evidently, the gang at the MU had dropped the bolt and instead of rooting for it, they drew a new one from stores!!!

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest spark617]

One of our Canberra's has been to an MU to have some Radar gear fitted and the crew that flew it back complained that the G4 compass was erratic on the way back. We checked the F700 to see if anything similar had occured before. It seems, at the MU, the port tip tank had been replaced. Warning bells rang, the flux detector for the G4 compass is in the port wing tip. We removed the panels for the tiptank bolts and got it! At full stretch, I rescued a tip tank bolt in close proximity to the flux detector! Evidently, the gang at the MU had dropped the bolt and instead of rooting for it, they drew a new one from stores!!!Ken

[Guest spark617]

WE are on detachment in Malaya dropping 1,000 pounders on the terrs. The canberra's have been out on a mission and are returning round the peri track. I pick mine out and turn him off the peri track on to the pan. Signal to stop and open bomb doors with an armourer standing by in case of hang ups. No hang up, worse. As the bomb doors open, a thousand pound bomb lurches through the gap and crunches onto the tarmac. We don't know wether to throw ourselves flat or run. Then we relaised it hadnt fallen far enough to arm. Fun over for the day. The aircrew must have wondered what was wrong with the groundcrew standing in groups counting their worry beads. Fun over for the day.

 

Ken

 

 

[Guest spark617]

When I was om my elec/fitters course at RAF Melksham, there was an instructer who had a terrible scar down the side of his face and being a quizzy lot, we asked him what had happened. He told us, that in his early days he was a stickler for neatness and couldn't stand airscrews at all angles and used to push them into line. He did this one day, attended to the port screw, went to the starboard, shoulder against the blade and pushed. He woke up in hospital. fractured collar bone, jaw and skull, some idiot had left the ignition swiches on. He recovered alright, but didn't push any more propellors into line!!!

 

Ken