Puns for Educated Minds

[Old Koreelah]

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

3. She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still.

 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

 

[rgmwa]

What's a pun?

 

rgmwa

 

 

[kgwilson]

What's a pun?rgmwa

Almost a water craft. As in "Old mother ruddy cuddy had a rough cut punt, not a punt cut rough but a rough cut punt. You could play her like a fiddle and paddle up the middle in old mother ruddy cuddy's rough cut punt. Now say that 10 times accurately in 20 seconds.

Or

 

The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play that suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.

 

I like the first.

 

 

[rgmwa]

I like the first one better too. Not so many big words.

 

rgmwa

 

 

[fly_tornado]

What's a pun?rgmwa

that's punny!

 

 

[facthunter]

Which one of you is the pleasant pheasant plucker? Nev

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Are we having pun yet?

 

 

[facthunter]

Punners should be punished... Nev

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

I couldn't inflict all of them on you in one go...

 

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart

 

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 

10.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

11.Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

12.Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

 

13.I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

14.A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

 

15.The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.