Some more quickies. . . . . .

[Phil Perry]

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from

 

a bottle of Tippex ! ! . . . . I woke this morning with a huge correction.

 

+ + + + + +

 

I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night.. . . the Locals were shouting

 

"paedo" and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm

 

50. . . . .disgusting I thought, . . . . It completely spoilt our 12th anniversary.

 

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My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a

 

couple of matches. . . . . his little face lit up when he tried to walk. This was, unfortunately because

 

I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage

 

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I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a

 

prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for

 

starters!'

 

+ + + + + + + +

 

Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity,

 

get me out of here!' . . . . the show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a

 

dead Beatle for the last thirty years.

 

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[bexrbetter]

They are awful Phil.

 

Got any more?

 

 

[facthunter]

If I was sending those things in I would get an email from my village saying they miss me, as you know every village has one. Aw... Keep it up They can't get worse. Nev

 

 

[M61A1]

They are awful Phil.Got any more?

Sounds like you need to check out sickipedia.org, with some W's in front of it.