Politicians Truths

[Guest john]

1. The Prime Minister was asked if he had heard the latest political jokes. "Heard them"? he said, " I work with them every day".

 

2.A politician said to a political colleague recently. " I wouldn't mind a bit if more women were in power".

 

The colleague said he wouldn't mind a bit & he didn't give a stuff who was in power.

 

3. When a politician says the meeting was necessary, meaningful & beneficial , it really means that it was unnecessary, useless & a waste of yours & my hard earned money.

 

4. Make your current M.P. work. Don't relect them.

 

5. Why is it that the only people who know how to run this country are cab drivers or hairdressers?

 

6. Whats the difference between a flattened politician & a flattened kangaroo on the road? There are skid marks leading to the kangaroo.

 

7. Never believe anything that comes out of a politicians mouth, until they have made an official denial.

 

8. On the headstone of a grave in the local cemetery is the most unusual epitaph. " Here lies the body of a great politician, an honest man & the late local M.P". It is most unusual to see how they could bury 3 men in the same grave.

 

 

[PA.]

Two politicians were taking over their long lunch when one said what are you doing regarding the Prostitution Bill? The second one said pay it.

 

 

[fly_tornado]

[fly_tornado]

[cscotthendry]

Except for point 1, the PM IS the latest political joke...and a very bad one at that.

 

 

[metalman]

Hey cool, this'll be funny

 

 

 

[metalman]

[fly_tornado]

[fly_tornado]

[Marty_d]

Funny thing is, that hairstyle looks natural on that little weasel Pyne!

 

 

[fly_tornado]

The ABC are laying into Tony something fierce, you can't tell me there is no bias at that place

 

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

The ABC must be biased; their version of reality is different to the Murdock media.

 

 

[dazza 38]

The ABC are laying into Tony something fierce, you can't tell me there is no bias at that place

The ABC has always been full of one eyed Labor supporters.

 

 

[fly_tornado]

Yu are right the ABC are of control!

 

 

 

[Marty_d]

Actually I think the ABC are the most unbiased news agency out there. Can't blame them for Abbott being a useless twat.

 

 

[planedriver]

Marty, It would apear that your Albert Einstein quote is somewhat accurate.

 

Finish the hard work building the 701, then simply give it away to someone who dosen't really need it.

 

That will then make about as much sense as what the former government did with our money for the past few years.

 

The ABC with all it's lefty biased incompetants, can't run an organisation either.

 

If you need brain surgery, use the services of a brain surgeon.

 

You could call the local butcher, as he also cuts meat and is a bit cheaper, but the brain surgeon is likely to do a better job.

 

 

[facthunter]

The Australian and the Courier Mail will tell it like it is, Look no further. Nev

 

 

[fly_tornado]

You can say what you like in opposition

 

 

 

[Yenn]

We have a truck running around in our area and according to the writing on the back of the tank, it is full of politicians promises.

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

The Australian and the Courier Mail will tell it like it is, Look no further. Nev

Thank heavens for Rupert Murdoch's media. Bringing us only quality and uplifting content and totally balanced and reliable reporting. Puleese!

 

 

[fly_tornado]

I know a lot of you old guys probably don't know much about this NBN thing the socialists were talking about when they were in power.

 

But, Rupert got what he wanted, Foxtel is set to become part of the NBN, which means subsidised by the government and no competition. Effectively, subsidising the PayTV business and locking any Pay TV competition out from the NBN. In dollar terms, Foxtel can never go broke because the libs have guaranteed the cost of the network.

 

 

[facthunter]

It tells you what Rupert WANTS. What could be more enlightening? Why would Rupey want 70% of it all and not use it? 100% in Qld. Lucky QLD. Nev

 

 

[Marty_d]

Marty, It would apear that your Albert Einstein quote is somewhat accurate.Finish the hard work building the 701, then simply give it away to someone who dosen't really need it.

That will then make about as much sense as what the former government did with our money for the past few years.

 

The ABC with all it's lefty biased incompetants, can't run an organisation either.

 

If you need brain surgery, use the services of a brain surgeon.

 

You could call the local butcher, as he also cuts meat and is a bit cheaper, but the brain surgeon is likely to do a better job.

Let's take a look at some of the Lib's successes shall we?

 

- Stopping the mining Super Profits Tax. Because we can't go taxing corporations on massive profits they're making by selling off what's under the ground and belongs to all of us. And poor old Gina and Twiggy and their mates are doing it tough.

 

- Stopping the Carbon Tax. Because... er... um... well we don't like the environment. (And secretly we still think global warming is bullsh*t, but we won't say it out loud because it's unfashionable just because a few scientists say it's real. Well, ok, about 97% of them.)

 

- Stopping the NBN in it's "Fibre to the home" format. Because we don't think that anyone needs more than 25 MBPS, and there's NO way they'll EVER need more than 100. Ever. Better to build a scheme for just 75% of the cost of the Labor plan, then do it all again in 5 years.

 

- Stopping those whinging child care workers from getting a pay rise. Jeez, it's not like they do anything important. I mean, kids! How important are they?

 

- Planning to pay high-earning women $75,000 a year Paid Parental leave. Which is probably double what a child care worker gets. But of course, your high level executive or lawyer is far better qualified to look after children.

 

- Rorting the travel allowances. But... it's not a rort to go to Peter Slipper's wedding!! He's a top bloke! Well, he was when he was a Lib. It's only after he became Speaker that he turned gay and became a prick. And rorted his cabcharge privileges. Well yes, he should go to jail for that! But we shouldn't. I mean, we paid it back when we got caught. Some of us.

 

- Ripping a billion dollars out of trade schools. Well, who needs tradesmen anyway. What do you mean, we're not looking at the long term?? Who cares about the long term, we're here for 3 years to do the most damage we can, then we just ramp up the lies to get elected again.

 

- Planning to get rid of the Clean Energy Finance Corporation. Because it's NOT NATURAL for a government agency to make a profit while helping to save the planet. How dare we!!! Profits are for private citizens with lots of money already, not for the commonwealth. As for these silly ideas about alternative sources of energy, if people started finding alternatives to coal or CSG, it'd really p*ss off our good buddies the mining magnates! We can't have that.

 

Yep, good on you Tony.

 

 

[Riley]

Let's take a look at some of the Lib's successes shall we?- Stopping the mining Super Profits Tax. Because we can't go taxing corporations on massive profits they're making by selling off what's under the ground and belongs to all of us. And poor old Gina and Twiggy and their mates are doing it tough.

 

- Stopping the Carbon Tax. Because... er... um... well we don't like the environment. (And secretly we still think global warming is bullsh*t, but we won't say it out loud because it's unfashionable just because a few scientists say it's real. Well, ok, about 97% of them.)

 

- Stopping the NBN in it's "Fibre to the home" format. Because we don't think that anyone needs more than 25 MBPS, and there's NO way they'll EVER need more than 100. Ever. Better to build a scheme for just 75% of the cost of the Labor plan, then do it all again in 5 years.

 

- Stopping those whinging child care workers from getting a pay rise. Jeez, it's not like they do anything important. I mean, kids! How important are they?

 

- Planning to pay high-earning women $75,000 a year Paid Parental leave. Which is probably double what a child care worker gets. But of course, your high level executive or lawyer is far better qualified to look after children.

 

- Rorting the travel allowances. But... it's not a rort to go to Peter Slipper's wedding!! He's a top bloke! Well, he was when he was a Lib. It's only after he became Speaker that he turned gay and became a prick. And rorted his cabcharge privileges. Well yes, he should go to jail for that! But we shouldn't. I mean, we paid it back when we got caught. Some of us.

 

- Ripping a billion dollars out of trade schools. Well, who needs tradesmen anyway. What do you mean, we're not looking at the long term?? Who cares about the long term, we're here for 3 years to do the most damage we can, then we just ramp up the lies to get elected again.

 

- Planning to get rid of the Clean Energy Finance Corporation. Because it's NOT NATURAL for a government agency to make a profit while helping to save the planet. How dare we!!! Profits are for private citizens with lots of money already, not for the commonwealth. As for these silly ideas about alternative sources of energy, if people started finding alternatives to coal or CSG, it'd really p*ss off our good buddies the mining magnates! We can't have that.

 

Yep, good on you Tony.

Marty_d

 

Whilst I'd bare my ass in front of the GPO at high noon on a Friday before I'd ever support Labour, your abv post caning the Libs did cause me to chuckle. cheers Riley

 

 

[fly_tornado]

The scary thing for the LNP is Clive is putting together a voting block, now he wouldn't be doing that if he was going to vote with the government would he.

 

Interesting bit of trivia from the election PUP got more votes than the Nationals.