Gee, it's dark in here...

[Marty_d]

Little Timmy's mother got into the habit of entertaining a man in her bedroom when her husband was out. Getting home early from school one day, Timmy heard strange noises from her room, saw what was going on, and hid in the wardrobe to watch and increase his knowledge of biology.

 

After a little while there's the sound of Timmy's father's car pulling into the drive, home from work early. Panicking, his mother tells the man to hide in the wardrobe.

 

Timmy sees the opportunity to make some money and quietly remarks "Gee, it's dark in here!"

 

The man jumps and hisses "Please kid... just keep quiet!"

 

Timmy whispers back "Would you like to buy my cricket ball? Only $50! And as a bonus I won't tell Dad you're here."

 

The man, seeing he has no choice, agrees to buy the ball and gives Timmy the money before sneaking away.

 

A couple of weeks go by and then one day, Timmy skips his afternoon classes and comes home early. Again, he hears his mother and the man in her room. Inspiration strikes and he calls his dad at work, asking him to come home early to help with his homework. His father is impressed that Timmy is actually studying, so agrees. Timmy then sneaks into the room and into the wardrobe again.

 

Soon there's the sound of his father's car in the drive, consternation on the bed and Timmy's mother pushes her beau into the wardrobe again.

 

Timmy murmers "Gee, it's dark in here!"

 

The man knows what's coming and says "How much?"

 

Timmy whispers "I'd like to sell you my cricket bat. Only $100!"

 

Grinding his teeth, the man agrees.

 

The next day Timmy is staring at his newfound wealth and planning what to spend it on, when his mother spies it.

 

"How did you get $150??" she demanded.

 

"Sold my cricket gear!" explained Timmy.

 

"For $150?? Impossible. You're lying!" accuses his mother. "I want you to go straight to church and confess!"

 

Timmy can't convince her of his innocence, so is driven to church and sent inside.

 

Entering the confessional, he blinks and says "Gee, it's dark in here!"

 

From the other side of the screen a voice says "Don't start that sh*t again!!"