On the way home from the pub...

[flyvulcan]

After a solid session at the pub, Johno says goodbye to his mates and heads off home.

 

Next afternoon, he walks back into the pub. His mates notice that he has a spring in his step.

 

Johno says "hey guys, you will not believe what happened to me on the way home from the pub last night... I was taking the shortcut home across the railway lines and would you believe it, I came across this young lady tied to the tracks just like on those old western movies. Anyway, I untied her and took her home. She was ever so grateful, we ended up making love all night!"

 

Johno's mate Dazza, clearly impressed says "hey Johno, was she good lookin'?"

 

Johno - "I dunno, I couldn't find her head..."

 

 

[M61A1]

Along similar lines....

 

A foul smelling homes man sees a young woman about to end it all by jumping off an overpass.

 

He says " if your going to kill yourself anyway, do you think we could have sex?"

 

She looks at him, screws up her nose and replies "ewww, no way you stink"

 

He says "suit yourself, I'll wait at the bottom".

 

 

[bexrbetter]

There's not much life in those jokes guys ....

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I agree. . . . .

 

Whilst in the pub the other night I was regaling a friend about my neighbour's epileptic Son, and how, when he has a fit, they chuck all their washing in the bath with him to save energy. . . . . . .anyway, I was rudely interrupted by this really HUGE Hells Angel type bloke who stood up and said, "OI,. . . .My Dad was epileptic and he DIED in the bath ! ! ! !.

 

I said, Oh my goodness,. . . . Did he drown . . .? ? ?

 

The guy said,. . .No,. . . .

 

He choked on two shirts and a left sock. . . . . .