Guest john Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 A chap was walking past the local Catholic Church recently that he hadn't been into for many years, & on this occasion he decided to take the time to confide in the resident Priest to forgive him of his many evil ways. He entered the Church building & went across to the the Confessional box, pulled back the curtains & sits down in the cubicle. He glanced around the confessional box & noticed a fully stocked bar with crystal glasses, the best wines, cigars & assorted liquer chocolates. On 1 wall of the cubicle there was also some fine portraits of beautiful naked ladies that seem to have mislaid their garments somewhere. Next he hears the Priest walking towards the confessional box, & when the Priest drew the curtains where the wayward man was seated, the man asked the Father for forgiveness for his past sins, since it had been a very long time since he had been to confession. The man went onto to tell the Priest that the confessional box was a much more inviting place since his last visit many years ago. The Priest then said to the wayward man: "Get out of there you idiot, you're on my side."
bexrbetter Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Catholic Church portraits of beautiful naked ladies that seem to have mislaid their garments somewhere. Eh? 1
Bryon Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 It is like other poor souls, lost in the wilderness, except it was only their clothes
Marty_d Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Eh? On the balance of probability there would have to be at least 2 or 3 catholic priests who find adult women attractive. 1
bexrbetter Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 On the balance of probability there would have to be at least 2 or 3 catholic priests who find adult women attractive. Out of 411,000.
bexrbetter Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 On the balance of probability there would have to be at least 2 or 3 catholic priests who find adult women attractive. Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding day. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can be married and be together for eternity. "Stay here and I will be right back". Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you." The couple asks, "What took so long?" To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a Priest up here -- "
planedriver Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 On the balance of probability there would have to be at least 2 or 3 catholic priests who find adult women attractive. Stop talking about my ex on the forums Marty. On reflection, i'm so grateful to him:cheers:
Marty_d Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Stop talking about my ex on the forums Marty.On reflection, i'm so grateful to him:cheers: Didn't know you used to be an altar boy, planedriver! 2
planedriver Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Sorry Marty, but I was referring to your No2 post, beacause my ex-wife married an ex-priest and he seems happy as she still has a bit of money left. Yes I was a choirboy for 8yrs and escaped untouched.
Guest john Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Is the money your ex still has , is it the left over hard earned money that you had to grudgingly part with on the day of settlement or does the ex priest have money which your ex has been able to extract from him?
bexrbetter Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Yes I was a choirboy for 8yrs and escaped untouched. So you're saying you're a very heavy sleeper?
Guest john Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Sorry Marty, but I was referring to your No2 post, beacause my ex-wife married an ex-priest and he seems happy as she still has a bit of money left.Yes I was a choirboy for 8yrs and escaped untouched. There is always a first for everything, & you must have been that LUCKY ONE
Guest john Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Sorry Marty, but I was referring to your No2 post, beacause my ex-wife married an ex-priest and he seems happy as she still has a bit of money left.Yes I was a choirboy for 8yrs and escaped untouched. Even though you were lucky enough to escape untouched, were you still lucky enough to be given a mars bar
planedriver Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 No Mars Bars, but I should confess that we pinched a fair few grapes when kneeling down during the Harvest Festival services, when the church was adorned with choir boy tucker, and we tried to spit the seeds to the boys oposite us. What a holy little tyke, and to think my Dad was the local Crown Sergeant:cops:
planedriver Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 So you're saying you're a very heavy sleeper? No Bex, after meeting The Archbishop of Canturbury and his enterage, even at that age I was aware that I wouldn't want to go to sleep
Marty_d Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 No Bex, after meeting The Archbishop of Canturbury and his enterage, even at that age I was aware that I wouldn't want to go to sleep Love the Freudian slip with "entourage"... 1
facthunter Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I'm told, if you went unmolested , you must have been extremely ugly. Nev
planedriver Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Church hall was in use Tuesday evenenings for Boy Scouts, Girl Guides.
bexrbetter Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Wee Irish boy crying by the side of the road. A man asks "What's wrong?" Boy says "Me Ma is dead" "Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father O'Riley ?" Wee boy replies"No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on me moind roight now." 4
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