My Darling Wife

[Guest john]

A couple of evenings ago, my wife & I were getting into bed. Well, the passion started to heat up, however she eventually says, "I don't feel like it tonight love, I just want you to hold me instead".

 

I said, "What was that you said, please repeat it again."

 

So she says the words again that any husband or boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.

 

She then said, "Your'e just not in touch with my emotional needs as a women enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man".

 

She responded to my puzzled looks by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am & not what I do for you in the bedroom?

 

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I just went to sleep dejected.

 

The very next day I decided to take the day off work to spend with my good wife. We went shopping at a big department store, had lunch & I walked around with her in the ladies department where she tried on several expensive fashion outfits. She couldn't decide which 1 to buy, so I said to her "Lets get them all". She then said she needed new shoes to go with the new outfits, & I suggested that she should get a pair of shoes for each new outfit, which she did.

 

We then went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of expensive diamond rings. Let me tell you that she was now very excited, & she must have thought that I was 1 wave short of a shipwreck.

 

I started to think she was testing me out because she asked for a tennis bracelet, when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine honey". She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said. " I think that this is all I want today love, lets go to the cashier".

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out. "No honey I don't feel like it".

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "What did you just say".

 

I then said,"Honey I just want you to hold this stuff for a while, your'e just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a women".

 

And just then she had this look that she was going to kill me. "I then said to her "Why can't you just love me for who I am & not for the things I buy you?

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight.