quick eez ....

[bexrbetter]

I found out my wife is having an affair so I have turned to religion to get me through this difficult time, Islam in fact, they are coming around in the morning to do the stoning.

 

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said,"You're obviously not listening.."

 

The wife suggested I inquire about a penis enlarger, so I did. Her names Kathy and she's 26 years old.

 

I think Politicians should wear race suits like Formula 1 drivers so we can identify their corporate sponsors.

 

 

[Marty_d]

Interesting mix of themes there! Or is your wife a politician too?

 

 

[PA.]

So, I was tickling my little sons feet when the wife wakes up and starts giving me a right earful...

 

Something about . " Waiting until he is born"

 

 

[Marty_d]

My wife's always telling me I don't listen.

 

At least, I think that's what she says.

 

 

[facthunter]

My wife argues all the time. When I put this to her the said "NO I DON'T". See? Nev

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Due to violent storms last weekend, the worst in history, the only road to town was flooded, we had no electricity and it was howling with rain so hard couldn't even go outside onto the veranda so me and the missus of 30 years sat in the living room and talked.

 

She's quite an interesting person.

 

 

[Stoney]

My wife has been missing for a week and the police have told me to prepare for the worst.

 

I have just been down to the op shop to get her clothes back.

 

 

[metalman]

My wife went missing in a boating mishap , the police turned up a week later and said they'd found her , did I want the good news or the bad news first?

 

"The bad I guess, " "she's dead ,we found her body stuck under a rock ledge 15 ft underwater" say the young copper,

 

"What the hell is the good news then ?" ,,,,, "she had three good sized mud crabs and a lobster hanging off her ,we've put her down again till tommorow arvo"

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Wife: "What are you doing?"

 

Husband with a document in his hand : Nothing.

 

Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for 10 minutes."

 

Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date...."

 

 

[Marty_d]

My wife argues all the time. When I put this to her the said "NO I DON'T". See? Nev

You can't argue with your wife. If you win, she makes damn sure you wish you'd lost. If you lose, she makes damn sure you KNOW you've lost.

 

 

[Guest john]

You learn from experience never to argue with a women, even though they are wrong most of the time. That is why they come from the planet Venus.