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Posted

Edith, was an old widowed pensioner who lived alone. She was having problems at her rear end & after consulting her local Doctor, the Doctor told her he needed to have more accurate technical information about her particular issue. He therefore instructed her to purchase a rectal thermometer at the local Chemist shop, & after a taking daily temperatures from the rear passage & recorded with the thermometer she was to bring these values back to the Doctor for further diagnosis.

 

She therefore went to the local Chemist & asked for a rectal thermometer which her Doctor had told her to buy. The Chemist located this item from off the shelf & started to wrap it up, when Edith asked the Chemist if he could give her some advise.

 

The Chemist said "what would you like to know", & Edith replied, "Could you please show me how to use this device?"091_help.gif.c9d9d46309e7eda87084010b3a256229.gif

 

 

Posted

Anyway she took it home and put the rectal thermometer in her back passage and recorded the temperatures. After a week she took her recordings back to the Doctor who was stunned by the numbers. She said for all the good those numbers were she may as well stuck it up her bum.

 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted

Later that day the Chemist reached for his pen tucked behind his ear only to find a rectal thermometer upon which he remarked "Some bum has stolen my pen ...."

 

 

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  • Haha 4
Posted

Like the Italian lady down the street who said" For all the good the pill is a doin my daughter she might as a well a be eatin it". Nev

 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted
The pill was too big to swallow, she was meant to hold it between her knees.

If she's on her hands and knees, it still isn't going to work is it?

 

 

Posted
If she's on her hands and knees, it still isn't going to work is it?

That reminds me of the naughty version of Old Mother Hubbard...

 

 

Posted

I asked a priest one day if it was ok to sleep with a woman who is not my wife, he said "Yes, as long as that is all you do."

 

 

Posted
I asked a priest one day if it was ok to sleep with a woman who is not my wife, he said "Yes, as long as that is all you do."

Why would you ask someone who's not supposed to sleep with anyone??

 

 

Posted
Why would you ask someone who's not supposed to sleep with anyone??

So said the choir boy.

 

 

Posted

Deskpilot, post: 433859, member: 64"]If she's on her hands and knees, it still isn't going to work is it?

 

Not if she is doggedly determined to do it anyway.

 

 

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