They Walk Amongst Us

[PaulN]

They walk among us ...

 

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.65. I told her that she had made a mistake in my favour and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.65.

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

I walked into a Subway with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the attendant and he looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy-one-get-one-free.' "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", he said, "so I guess they're both free." He handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

One day I was walking along the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look, a dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern, Central or Western Standard Time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Western."

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot.

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

I pulled into the LL drive-through and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since the pantry was empty I bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave a 20% discount.

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

 

They Walk Among Us ...

 

While working at a pizza shop I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces. I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

 

... Yep, They Walk Among Us ... AND they reproduce!

 

You can only hope they don't pilot aircraft too ... or do they

 

 

[w3stie]

 

I was buying some port in a wine shop once and was chatting with the sales clerk. I told her we were having cigars and dipping the end in port was really nice. She was amazed and asked which end did we dip!

 

 

[BigPete]

Years ago in Perth I bought two poolside metal tables at $99 each. ;)

 

I handed the owner/shopkeeper (a nice lady in her forties) two $100 notes. :big_grin:

 

She got all flustered (as her till was on the blink) and had to get a calculator to work out my change. :yuk:

 

I kid you not!

 

regards

 

 

[Ben Longden]

I used to work at a Pizza restaurant, and often would ask customers if they wanted their Pizza cut into six or eight slices....

 

And yes.... they would ask for six.... because they couldnt eat eight....

 

True!!!

 

Ben

 

 

[Nev25]

A friend of mine went thought the local McDonald's DRIVE-THROUGH and was asked Eat-in or Take-away

 

 

[BigPete]

Years ago (when I was in the Army) we were posted to Perth. After a few days my wife made this comment -

 

"the electricty is hotter here - the kettle boils quicker!" ;)

 

well you can imagine my reaction - I hadn't laughed so much for years.

 

Told the story to my Army mates the next day during m'tea.

 

I must admit I felt pretty silly when one of them said -

 

"you do know that we are on 260 volts here in WA"

 

don't you hate it when they're right!

 

 

[slartibartfast]

Decades ago when I was a teen, my family went to a camping and leisure show.

 

My brother, father and I were admiring an electric motor for a canoe.

 

My mum said, "That's great but wouldn't you need a really long extension lead?"

 

 

[Bigglesworth]

My sister looked at a horse which was resting 2 diagonally opposite feet:

 

Shouldn't it fall over if it only uses 2 feet?

 

 

[Guest Rocko]

Neuronically challenged

 

I'm an optometrist.

 

Although sometimes I think I'm actually a psychiatrist.

 

Cause they're all nuts around here! :)

 

Few years ago I was doing an eye test on a woman, and looking with my equipment into her eye.

 

She says to me "What can you see when you look into the back of my eye"

 

I replied to her calmly, and without pause "I can see right to the back of your brain"

 

She replies brightly..."Really???"

 

What's really sad is I did the same thing to a guy who asked me that a couple of years later

 

Same response.

 

Really??? ;)

 

 

[planedriver]

Good post!!