Double Entendres . . . . .

[Phil Perry]

12 OF THE FINEST (UNINTENTIONAL)

 

DOUBLE-ENTENDRES EVER AIRED ON BRITISH TV AND RADIO

 

 

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator – 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

 

 

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator – 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

 

 

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator – 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

 

 

 

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 – 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

 

 

 

5.. US PGA Commentator – 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my god ! What have I just said?'

 

 

 

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

 

 

 

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked… 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

 

 

 

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

 

 

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said:

 

'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

 

 

10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

 

 

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

 

 

 

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself..

 

 

[facthunter]

That's gotta be your best Phil. Real,class. Nev

 

 

[Bikky]

Madame de Gaulle was said to have been lunching with the American ambassador at the time of her husband's retirement when she was asked what she was most looking forward to in the years ahead.

 

She thought for a moment before announcing boldly: "A penis". A startled hush fell over the table until the former president leant over and said: "My dear, I think it's pronounced 'happiness'."

 

 

[bexrbetter]

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked… 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

That's one of the funniest ever and it's darn hard to find, so hard it's on a number of "Internet Myth" websites as not being true.

 

But I have seen it and it's to be found in a couple of " TV News Bloopers" type videos on Youtube. I'm guessing the TV Station doesn't allow it to be seen (scene?).

 

 

[Phil Perry]

That's one of the funniest ever and it's darn hard to find, so hard it's on a number of "Internet Myth" websites as not being true.But I have seen it and it's to be found in a couple of " TV News Bloopers" type videos on Youtube. I'm guessing the TV Station doesn't allow it to be seen (scene?).

Yep . . . . I saw it as well mate,. . . . . truly hilarious, Also saw the local one about the hot sausage inside. . . . . . . Bliss ! ! !

 

 

[Phil Perry]

That's gotta be your best Phil. Real,class. Nev

Aw, Shucks Nev, that's really nice of you to say, . . . . . . but I just get (Most) of them from my myriad brain - challenged friends. . . . . very few are of my own creation Sir. . . . I Play guitar, but rarely do "Stand Up" comedy in public ( not anymore anyway ! ! ! !) Unless you count my flying ability, as can be occasionally witnessed near to an airfield or other "Landing ground". . . . . . . .

 

Happy Landings. . .

 

Phil

 

 

[JEM]

It was said that one of the few double endendre names to slip by the US war department in WW2 was the Curtis XP55 Ascender, a prototype single seat fighter with canard layout and engine and prop at the rear.

 

 

[pmccarthy]

It was said that one of the few double endendre names to slip by the US war department in WW2 was the Curtis XP55 Ascender, a prototype single seat fighter with canard layout and engine and prop at the rear.

This took me a while.

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

American ACCent helps

 

 

[facthunter]

I got it straight away. Now you'll think I'm awful. Nev

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

I got it straight away. Now you'll think I'm awful. Nev

We always did!

 

 

[M61A1]

My wife wanted a double entendre....so I gave her one.

 

 

[facthunter]

What's this thing called , love? Nev

 

 

[pmccarthy]

You know you're in love when she says "you're in, love".

 

 

[M61A1]

You know you're in love when she says "you're in, love".

That's the importance of punctuation. When your girlfriend eats something hot and then says "F**k my mouth", you need to know exactly where the comma is.

 

 

[Marty_d]

At least you didn't spell "comma" with a "u"...

 

 

[Bikky]