How Old is Grandma. . . ??

[Phil Perry]

( I apologise up front about the Americanisms . . . . .this came from my mate Lily, in Wisconsin, USA )

 

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother

 

About current events.

 

The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought

 

About the shootings at schools, the computer age, and

 

Just things in general.

 

The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute,

 

I was born before:

 

'television

 

'penicillin

 

'polioshots

 

'frozenfoods

 

'Xerox

 

'contactlenses

 

'Frisbees and

 

'the pill

 

There were no:

 

'credit cards

 

'laser beams or

 

'ball-point pens

 

Man had not yet invented:

 

'pantyhose

 

'air conditioners

 

'dishwashers

 

'clothes dryers

 

'and the clotheswere hung out to dryin the fresh air and

 

' man hadn't yetwalked on the moon

 

Your Grandfather and I got married first, and then lived together.

 

Every family had a fatherand a mother.

 

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir."

 

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man

 

With the title, "Sir."

 

We were before gay-rights,computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

 

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.

 

We were taught to know the difference between right and

 

Wrong and to stand up and take responsibilityfor our actions.

 

Serving your country was a privilege; livingin this country was

 

A bigger privilege.

 

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

 

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with

 

Your cousins.

 

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the

 

Evening breeze started.

 

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the

 

Evenings and weekends not purchasing condominiums.

 

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CD's, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.

 

We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny,and the President's speeches on our radios.

 

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan 'on it, it was junk.

 

The term 'making out' referred to howyou did on your school exam.

 

Pizza Hut, McDonald's,and instant coffee was unheard of.

 

We had 5 & dime stores where youcould actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

 

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar,and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

 

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

 

You could buy a new Ford Coupe for $600,but who could afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

 

In my day:

 

'"grass"was mowed,

 

'"coke" was a cold drink,

 

'"pot" was something your mother cooked in and

 

'"rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.

 

'"Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,

 

'"chip" meant a piece of wood,

 

'"hardware"was found in a hardware store and.

 

' "software" wasn't even a word.

 

We were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

 

We volunteered to protect our precious country.

 

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.

 

How old do you think I am?

 

>

 

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Are you ready????? >

 

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This woman would be only 62 (and a bit) years old.

 

She would have been born in late 1952.

 

GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT DOESN’T IT ??.

 

TELL YOUR OLDIE FRIENDS ABOUT THIS ONE.. . . . . .

 

THE YOUNGIES WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. . . . .

 

 

[Yenn]

When I was young coke was burnt in the fire. Grandma obviously doesn't have an opiniom on computers and seems to be happy with school shootings. Typical Yank.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

When I was young coke was burnt in the fire. Grandma obviously doesn't have an opiniom on computers and seems to be happy with school shootings. Typical Yank.

Mmmm,. . . . . I don't remember my parents burning coke, . . . we lived near to a colliery storage yard and I DO remember sneaking over the fence at night along with other nee'r do well friends and part filling old sacks with tiny bits of coal locally known as "Slack" to supplement the "Paid For" stuff delivered down through the coal cellar doors on the front pavement, known as "Shooting the load" . . . . . Slack was used mainly to start the fire with some kindling wood and slack on top of the screwed up pieces of old newspaper . . . . in my early teens, taking up slack acquired a new meaning for me, this was of course slowly tightening of the winch rope before the old Slingsby Sedbergh glider leapt forward along the grass at RAF Tern hill for a three minute ride around the circui in that way that exhillarates fourteen year old ATC cadets. . . . .

 

As for elderly Yank women and school shootings,. . . . . .we didn't have either of them in our street . . . .( far as I know )

 

Phil

 

**Edited to add** In the fifties, my Mum DID get shot in the bottom with an air rifle slug, but she said it didn't hurt as her girdle stopped it . . . ! Dunno if it was fired from a school though. . . . PP

 

 

[Marty_d]

I believe "shooting the load" has a different meaning these days Phil...

 

 

[Yenn]

I didn't know it was your Mum Phil, sorry about that. Dad broke the air rifle, said it was too dangerous for me to play with.

 

 

[rankamateur]

I didn't know it was your Mum Phil, sorry about that. Dad broke the air rifle, said it was too dangerous for me to play with.

Air rifle,... I had to buy my own with pocket money when I was 11 years old. cost $29.00 too.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I believe "shooting the load" has a different meaning these days Phil...

Yers, I rather think it does,. . . strange the way our language tends to transmogrify over time innit ? ? ? !

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I didn't know it was your Mum Phil, sorry about that. Dad broke the air rifle, said it was too dangerous for me to play with.

Air rifle,... I had to buy my own with pocket money when I was 11 years old. cost $29.00 too.

I wasn't allowed an airgun of any sort, though my Dad did teach me to shoot a .22 rifle on the farm, Dad used to bring back a few bunnies for the pot. My mate and I unearthed a huge single shot large bore pistol buried in the backyard around 1958, but we were instructed by Pater to hand it in at the Birmingham museum, ( the local police were not interested ! ! ) they reckon it was a WW1 jobbie, made by a firm called Gauss at the turn of the century, Dad estimated the calibre at more than .45 'ish . . . obviously a naughty souvenir smuggled back from the Somme by some Grandad or other !!

 

Whilst I lived in Australia, I was surprised how easy it was to purchase and own firearms, but we rarely heard any stories about major gun crime on the media at the time. . . . . I remember that the police routinely carried a sidearm, though here in the UK, they are only carried by specialist teams. . . . . maybe things will change with the current increase in terrorist alerts. . . dunno.

 

Phil

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

Similar story here Phil. My dad taught us great respect for the business end of the rifle, and I could never point it anywhere near anyone, nor load it until near to using it. Our limited firepower had to be made up for with stealth, patience and marksmanship. We were often amazed at the Rambo behaviour of city visitors; their bullets narrowly missing us on a couple of occasions.