planedriver Posted September 10, 2007 Posted September 10, 2007 I feel so so sorry for all you plane-less guys out there, who are dissapointed with the hopes of owning your own cheap aircraft, as result of a post from that "Shonky" Chris. Don't worry about him, here's a genuine offer which I sincerely hope give's you some satifaction, (would I kid you?) A GENUINE CHEAP HOME-BUILT AIRPLANE WITH FOUR ENGINES. Take a wooden matchstick and slice a thin sliver from one side. Then cut the remaining stick in two, lengthwise. Make sure you leave a little of the red tip intact for effect. Discard one half. Make the aircraft by gluing the sliver of wood - the wing - across the remaining part of the matchstick - the fuselage. If you want, you can use little scraps to make a tail section. Or you can make a biplane. Or you can use a couple of thin slices of balsa to make a huge wing, one that will carry maybe twenty engines Catch a bunch of flies. Put them in a jar and put the jar in the freezer. In a few seconds the flies will be chilled out completely. This is called cryogenics, and it has its drawbacks. For example, the flies will be dead flies if you freeze them too long. Dead flies are no good for the initial take-off run. So if you're a tinkerer, refrigerate your flies. It takes longer to make them comatose, but they have a higher recovery rate than the ones you leave in the freezer next to the burritos. Meanwhile, put a tiny drop of rubber cement at each place along the wing where you want an engine. Take the flies out of the freezer. Attach the abdomen of one frigid fly to each drop of glue. Make sure all the flies are facing the same direction. Breathe life into the flies. A miracle will happen before your very eye's. A gentle puff of your warm loving breath will resuscitate the flies. Launch the aircraft. It should fly like a charm. they'll soar like a glider, race like a Lanceair, and, when overflying a barnyard or kennel, turn into a wicked kamakase dive bomber. Good luck guys, I hope I have helped you fulfil your dream.
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