Me and the WIFE. . . . . . .

[Phil Perry]

I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex

 

The wife's back on the warpath again. . . Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

 

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I really should have taken them off.

 

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

 

After both suffering from depression for quite some time, the wife and I were goingto commit suicide together yesterday.But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a whole lot better. So I thought, sod it, I'll soldier on!

 

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" . . . . . . . as she likes to call it.

 

I woke up this morning at Eight, and just felt that something was wrong. Igotdownstairs and found the wife facedown on the kitchen floor, not breathing! As you can imagine, I totally panicked. I didn't know what to do.. . . . . .Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 10:30 AM. . . . .

 

 

[PA.]

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

 

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

 

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

 

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

 

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

 

 

[Marty_d]

Jeez Phil, you had to "defrost the fridge" twice last night??

 

 

[old man emu]

Jeez Phil, you had to "defrost the fridge" twice last night??

Once a King, always a king, but once a night's enough."

 

Bloody near heatwave conditions for this time of year! http://www.bbc.com/weather/2653883

 

OME

 

 

[Guest Howard Hughes]

Jeez Phil, you had to "defrost the fridge" twice last night??

Must be a newlywed!

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Once a King, always a king, but once a night's enough."Bloody near heatwave conditions for this time of year! http://www.bbc.com/weather/2653883

 

OME

Yep,. . . . . got a month of rain before it gets snowy for Christmas. . . Lovely !