Picasso ? ? ?

[Phil Perry]

I was cleaning out Mother in law's loft last week, and I found a very old modern art painting, and a very old, dusty violin.

 

I took them to an antique expert and he said, "Well,". . . . . "What you've got here is a Picasso, and a Stradivarius". . . . . . . . Geez,. . .I was elated, . . . .thinking of all that money. . . . . . .but then the guy said, "Unfortunately,. . . . Stradivarius was no good at painting, and Picasso was a $hit violin maker. . . ."

 

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I went out with a new girlfriend recently,. . . . she was from America. . . .her name turned out to be CARMEN.

 

I said,. . . "That's a nice name,. . . . . . " She said,. . ."Yes, I'm named for my favourite things. . . . . . .Cars,. . . and Men. . ."

 

She said . . ."What's YOUR name ? " . . . . .

 

I said

 

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" BEERTITS Perry. . . . "

 

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[facthunter]

We drink it from glasses here. Nev

 

 

[old man emu]

It's still mother's milk no matter if it's canned, bottled or in a glass.

 

OME

 

 

[skeptic36]

Reminds me of this one :

 

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his.

 

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"

 

She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago."

 

He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

 

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

 

"Really," he said. "What myths are those?"

 

"Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck."

 

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

 

"It's Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba!"

 

 

[bexrbetter]

"One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Not with their Chinese DNA they aren't ...

 

 

[facthunter]

You heart can't provide blood to both it and the brain, at once as has been proven over and over again. Nev