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Posted

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

 

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

 

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

 

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

 

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

 

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

 

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

 

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

 

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

 

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

 

14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

 

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 

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Posted

Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you can say what you like - they're a mile away and you've got their shoes.

 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you can say what you like - they're a mile away and you've got their shoes.

Right On. . . . .Sole Brother. . . . . . .

 

 

Guest Maj Millard
Posted

Flying is the best way to fly....

 

The wing is king....

 

Airspeed you need......

 

You stall you fall...........

 

 

Guest Maj Millard
Posted

The only constant in life, is change itself............

 

 

Posted
Death and Taxes. Consistently inconsistent. Nev

Death is inconsistent? Would have thought that was the most consistent constant. 100% occurrence, zero returns.

 

 

Posted
Death is inconsistent? Would have thought that was the most consistent constant. 100% occurrence, zero returns.

These days, I'm not so sure that's true.

 

 

Posted

I guess it's up to individual definitions if you count someone who's been resuscitated as having been dead.

 

 

Posted
Flying is the best way to fly....The wing is king....

 

Airspeed you need......

 

You stall you fall...........

>

 

" I saw 'im Spin. . . . .

 

 

 

I saw 'im Burn. . . . . .

 

 

 

he held off bank. . . . .

 

 

 

in a Gliding turn. . . . ."

 

(with apologies to Sir David Squirrell for pinching his ditty. . .)

 

 

Posted

My grandfather was "Killed in action" when someone saw him shot in the head,two years later repatriated from Russian hospital,

 

with a solid silver plate for his skull.

 

He who lives Twice!

 

spacesailor

 

 

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Posted
My grandfather was "Killed in action" when someone saw him shot in the head,two years later repatriated from Russian hospital,with a solid silver plate for his skull.

He who lives Twice!

 

spacesailor

Did he drink martinis, shaken, not stirred??

 

 

Posted

Death and taxes Two of the CONSTANTS. Change itself is consistently inconsistent. My comment was a bit cryptic, but you should know me by now Phil. Nev

 

 

Posted

Yes Nev,. . . . . . . I've got a similar problem,. . . .Climate change, and Womens' changeable moods. I've read EVERYTHING I can on both subjects . . . . . and I still can't work it out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Today's example . . . . . Bright sunshine, and hail damage to my car, and Wifey giving me a *ollocking for something I knew nothing about. . . . .all in the space of twenty five minutes. . . . . .

 

Confused dot com.

 

 

Posted
Yes Nev,. . . . . . . I've got a similar problem,. . . .Climate change, and Womens' changeable moods. I've read EVERYTHING I can on both subjects . . . . . and I still can't work it out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Today's example . . . . . Bright sunshine, and hail damage to my car, and Wifey giving me a *ollocking for something I knew nothing about. . . . .all in the space of twenty five minutes. . . . . .

 

Confused dot com.

The brightest scientists can understand climate change.

 

NO male can understand women.

 

PS sorry to hear about your car!

 

 

Posted
The brightest scientists can understand climate change.NO male can understand women.

 

PS sorry to hear about your car!

ACTUALLY. . . . . . . . the car was a VAN, and coincidentally I had a bloke offer me a lot more than it was worth this morning,. . . . and as I was drawing breath through what's left of my teeth in shock, . .he misunderstood that and upped the offer by fifty Quid ! ! ! ! ( No,. . .really ! ) . . . . only problem now, is that 'Er indoors won't let me use her car to take rubbish to the dump so I've got to find another van . . .preferably with no hail damage to the panels. . . . . life can be cruel.

 

It's an ill wind. . . . .didahdidahdidah. . . .

 

 

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