Fanny Green

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Confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

 

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession.

 

I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'

 

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail

 

Mary's.

 

'Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional.

 

'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex

 

with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.'

 

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Fanny Green?'

 

'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.

 

'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;

 

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon,

 

a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary.

 

The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed

 

up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green

 

and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

 

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and

 

matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just

 

enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

 

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Fanny Green?'

 

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply,

 

'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.