Why Parents Drink . . . .

[Phil Perry]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his

 

bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an

 

Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to

 

'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands

 

and read the letter.

 

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

 

elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with

 

Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,

 

tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

 

than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the

 

whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

 

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so

 

Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to

 

know your grandchildren. Love,

 

Your Son John

 

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PS. Dad, none of the above is true. . . . . .I'm over at Tommy's house.

 

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the

 

School Report Card that's in my desk drawer.

 

I love you.

 

Call me when it's safe to come home.

 

 

[ayavner]

oldie but a goodie

 

 

[Marty_d]

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that hisbed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an

Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to

 

'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands

 

and read the letter.

 

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

 

elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with

 

Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,

 

tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

 

than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the

 

whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

 

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so

 

Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to

 

know your grandchildren. Love,

 

Your Son John

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. . . . . .I'm over at Tommy's house.

 

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the

 

School Report Card that's in my desk drawer.

 

I love you.

 

Call me when it's safe to come home.

Whatever else was on his report card, I bet he aced English.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

oldie but a goodie

If I was a YOUNG FA*T . . .'stead of the older variety Sir,. . . they might be more recent. . . . I bury them for a couple of decades, then Recycle.

 

Phil

 

 

[ayavner]

I wasn't talking about the joke...

 

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I wasn't talking about the joke...

Let me do some solo circuits in YOUR PLANE. . . . . then tell me afterwards, . . .how goodie it wasn't. . .?