Guest fishy Posted February 18, 2015 Posted February 18, 2015 Bill &Julie, had been married for 10 years & their marriage had been rocky. When Julie came home early yesterday, she discovered that Bill was making love to a very attractive blonde in the marital bed, & obviously became upset. Julie said to Bill: "You are a disrespectful barstxd, how dare you do this to me , your beloved wife, & the mother of your 2 children. I'm going to leave you immediately, take the children with me & have my Lawyers file for a divorce asap." Bill stopped his horizontal exercises with the blonde & said to Julie: "Hang on a minute darling, so at least I can explain to you what all this is about". "Go ahead she said, but these are the last words you'll ever speak to me". Bill then explained that as he was getting into the car to drive home from work, an attractive blonde with big KNOCKERS was standing in the car park & looked dejected. She came over & asked me for a ride to her home as her car had broken down & I took pity on her & gave her a lift with the intention of taking her to her place. I further noticed that she was very thin, her seethrough dress was soiled, & she told me that she hadn't eaten for 3 days. I took compassion on her & thought it best to bring her to our family home first & give her some healthy food, so I warmed up the left over chinese food I brought for you last night that you wouldn't eat, because you told me that you would put on weight & the poor girl devoured the meal straight away. Since her seethrough dress was soiled , I suggested first she take a shower , & while she was in the shower I laid out the designer jeans you have had for a few years , & don't wear now because you say they are too tight on you. I also gave her some of your new panties that I especially chose for you on our wedding anniversary which you refuse to wear because you say they are to flimsy. I also donated those high heel boots you bought at the expensive boutique & now don't wear because your girlfriend at work has a similar pair. The blonde was so grateful for my understanding & help, that as I was walking her to the front door to take her home, she turned to me with tears in her eyes & said" Thankyou, but tell me if you have anything else that your wife doesn't use".
Marty_d Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Fishy, are you really "John"? The way the joke is written, especially the use of ampersands, is exactly the same... 1
bexrbetter Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Fishy, are you really "John"? The way the joke is written, especially the use of ampersands, is exactly the same... Except missing John's signature smiley -
Marty_d Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Except missing John's signature smiley - Ah, true. (Perhaps that's his cunning plan to disguise his identity?)
bexrbetter Posted February 19, 2015 Posted February 19, 2015 Ah, true. (Perhaps that's his cunning plan to disguise his identity?) Yes, could be a cunning stunt. 1
Stoney Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 I prefer the alternative. A cunning linguist?? 2
Marty_d Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 "Tomorrow Never Dies"... James Bond: (In bed with his Scandinavian language tutor) "I always enjoyed learning a new tongue." Moneypenny: "You always were a cunning linguist, James!"
facthunter Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 Is that someone who knows when they are licked? Nev
skeptic36 Posted February 28, 2015 Posted February 28, 2015 What's the difference between a Savoy and a Lesbian? One is a snack cracker.........
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