Bloke jokes

[Thruster87]

How many intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

 

Both of them.

 

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

 

A widow.

 

Why are married women heavier than single women?

 

Single women come home, have a look to see what`s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see whats in the bed and go to the fridge.

 

What did God say when he created Adam ?

 

I can do better than this.

 

What`s a mans idea of a balanced diet?

 

A beer in each hand.

 

My mate Sid was the victim of ID theft, He`s just called S now!

 

I`ll tell what makes my blood boil....Crematoriums

 

Who are the coolest blokes at the hospital?

 

The ultra-sound guys.

 

What hangs from a mans thigh and wants to poke a hole thats often poked before?

 

A key.