Ya just gotta laugh!

[old man emu]

Ya just gotta laugh at yourself.

 

How long does it take to change the automatic transmission fluid in a car - half an hour?

 

Today my son, his mate and I spent close on 5 hours completing the job. Not that we had any problems getting the old fluid drained. Six screws and off came the oil pan. Then a quick whizz in the parts washer for the pan to get rid of the accumulated gunk. The new filter unit went in and the pan was refitted with a new gasket. Easy!

 

Then came the job of refilling the transmission. Firstly, we checked the owner's manual to find out how much fluid we needed. This car is a relatively new Mercedes. The entry in the manual basically said, "You can't check the transmission oil level. Bring the car into one of our service centres for that to be done." Hmmm. That partly explained why we could not find the data for the oil capacity.

 

Quick! Open Google and look at the relevant forums. We found a good YouTube video which went through all the steps necessary to do the fluid change, and. it told us we need 4 litres to replace what we'd drained out. OK. Find the filler tube, hidden at the back of the engine near the firewall and pour in 4 litres of fluid.

 

Job done, let's drive out of the workshop. The car won't move. Have we put something back incorrectly, or failed to connect something? Pull the oil pan off, and dump the fluid. Put everything back. Try to move the car. No go. Maybe we have overfilled it. Out with the oil sucker and pull out a bit over three litres. Try again. No go. Suck more out. Try again. No success.

 

By this time we've just about exhausted all possible avenues. Even the computer interrogator isn't giving any answers. Looks like we'll have to tow the car to a Mercedes dealer during the week. Then the son's mate decides to climb into the engine bay and have a real good look behind the engine. Quite an effort since he's 5'24" and looks like a Sumo wrestler.

 

Low and behold! THERE ARE TWO FILLER TUBES BACK THERE. He pulls the cap from the one we haven't opened and embossed on it are the words "MB Technician Only". Then we get total recall. One of the posts we have read mentions following a pipeline from the back of the engine bay to the transmission. We quickly pour 4 litres of fluid down this newly found tube and fire up the engine. Amazing! We have movement.

 

It seems that all afternoon we had been pouring transmission fluid into the engine. Everytime we took off the transmission oil pan, we were pouring out the fluid which had pumped out of the torque converter. I said that I thought it strange that the transmission oil was getting so hot after we ran the engine.

 

Well, we drained the engine sump - lots of cherry red fluid came out - put the covers back on, put engine oil into the oils filler hole and were finally done about 5:30. The gear changes are almost undetectable, and the engine runs like a sewing machine.

 

Lesson learned: Find and read the instructions before you start a job. Although I must sheet home some of the blame to Mercedes who had originally made the decision that the transmission was "sealed for life" and the fluid didn't need to be changed, ever. 250K kilometres of usage proved that wrong.

 

Old Man Emu

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Not only will the ATF not hurt your engine, some actually use it for the purpose as an engine flush.

 

 

[planedriver]

Years ago my brother-in-law had a Hillman Hunter and because the filler cap on the rocker-cover looked like a radiator cap, he was confused, and put the water in the engine and oil in the radiator.

 

I had the job of flushing it all out and getting it back to normal, plus replacing the oil filter a radiator hoses.

 

We never let him live that one down, however, he was at least good at anything to do with animals:cheezy grin:

 

 

[Guernsey]

I hope he never has to give a suppository to an animal.

 

Alan.

 

 

[Guernsey]

Further to the above, when my wife was nursing several years ago she asked a trainee nurse to give one of her patients a suppository, some time later she asked the trainee if she had done so to which she replied "yes, I gave it to her with her morning coffee". True story. .

 

Alan.

 

 

[fly_tornado]

This Gen y guy parked in front of my mum's house a few weeks ago when I was painting her fence. I noticed he had a flat tyre so I did the neighbourly thing and mentioned it too him. Whilst painting the fence I noticed it took him about 2 hours of rummaging through the car before he finally ended up calling his dad to come and fit the spare...

 

 

[Guernsey]

You should have done the job for him and handed him your paint brush.

 

Alan.

 

 

[old man emu]

He probably would have spent two hours trying to work out how to paint the gaps between the palings!

 

OME

 

 

[bexrbetter]

He probably would have spent two hours trying to work out how to paint the gaps between the palings!OME

I'm sure he could download an App to do it .......

 

It's more serious for me, Chinese generally stay in school until 22-24 years old studying 24/7 and you can not believe how stupid they are for basic real world requirements as simple as catching a bus for example.

 

 

[Marty_d]

I'm sure he could download an App to do it .......It's more serious for me, Chinese generally stay in school until 22-24 years old studying 24/7 and you can not believe how stupid they are for basic real world requirements as simple as catching a bus for example.

That's good news for you, if everything else fails you could set up the China Automobile Club, and go around changing their tyres.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

That's good news for you, if everything else fails you could set up the China Automobile Club, and go around changing their tyres.

Would work very well here actually, not sure that they don't but I haven't noticed it. Battery shops will deliver and change on the spot.

 

The freeways already have Government sponsored patrol utes, they look for people in strife. If you've stopped they put out cones and a triangle 100 meters before you and assist as they can or get you a towtruck. Pulled up for me one evening and A/ was surprised to see a Foreigner and B/ was astounded that I knew and could actually set my headlights myself (which is what I was doing).

 

 

[Jabiru Phil]

Bex,

 

Reminds me of an incident I had in Kunming on one of our golf trips.

 

Three mates and self ventured away from our hotel for a look around and shopping. We got separated, but no worries I thought as I noticed a large crane on top of a building nearby the hotel.

 

No sun to go by, I started to look for the crane, sure enough I found about seven of the buggers!

 

Hopelessly lost. I might mention that on the three trips there I never met another western person.

 

The hotel gave out a card that stated in Chinese something like please take me to the hotel.

 

I noticed a police caravan parked in the street. I handed the card to the officer and he replied in perfect English

 

"Yes sir turn left at the next corner, go two blocks, turn left and the hotel is on the next corner on the right hand side"

 

I got there just as my mates arrived, I was too embarrassed to tell what happened, just said I used the GPS on my phone.

 

Great country. Going again this year.

 

PHIL

 

 

[bexrbetter]

BHopelessly lost. I

No doubt there's a number of people who think getting lost isn't such a big deal, but you have no idea how scary it is when you can't read a single sign or no one speaks your language. I have been in that situation my first week here and my Daughter, who had lived in Scotland, South Africa and extensively backpacked around Europe on her own previously, got frantic and took us 2 hours to find her at a large railway station - and she had a phone!

 

Going again this year.

PHIL

Always a room.

 

 

[Nev25]

Story Floating around a while ago was

 

A first year Auto Mechanic apprentice was told to fill a car with oil

 

The supervising mechanic returned after attending to a Customer

 

To find a pallet of empty 5 Lt oil containers

 

Filled the car alright as was instructed

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Story Floating around a while ago wasA first year Auto Mechanic apprentice was told to fill a car with oil

The supervising mechanic returned after attending to a Customer

 

To find a pallet of empty 5 Lt oil containers

 

Filled the car alright as was instructed

I did that at Frankston TAFE during my blocks in my first (I have 3 certifications) first year mechanical apprenticeship. My training was in a Yamaha/Stihl shop and everything was in metric. When told to do the oil change on the TAFE worshop's Falcon, I read the pints as litres.

 

Just the engine overfilled severly though of course.

 

 

[PA.]

I had my radiator fixed at C&C Radiators in Kent Town one day and got a call that my engine was stuffed. The sump was full of water! Turns out the idiot tried to fill the radiator by using the oil filler.

 

Car was a Subaru with the oil filler on a pipe coming up from the crankcase.