Headlines

[Guest thrasher]

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2006 :

 

 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

 

[No, really?]

 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

 

[That'll stop 'em]

 

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

 

[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

 

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

 

[What a guy!]

 

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

 

[ Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]

 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

 

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

 

War Dims Hope for Peace

 

[i can see where it might have that effect!]

 

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a while

 

[You think?]

 

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

 

[Who would have thought!]

 

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

 

[They may be on to something!]

 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !

 

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge

 

[He probably is the battery charge!]

 

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

 

[Weren't they fat enough?!]

 

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

 

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

 

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

 

[Taste like chicken?]

 

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

 

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

 

[boy, are they tall!]

 

And the winner is....

 

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

 

We all need a good laugh, keep on smiling