Jabiru Phil Posted April 15, 2015 Posted April 15, 2015 : In a Bangkok Temple: IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. Dry cleaners, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP. In a City restaurant: OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS. In a Cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES. Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR. In a Tokyo Bar: SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS. Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE. Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE. Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like Air NZ!!!) A Laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. A laundry in Beirut DRY CLEANING FOR MEN AND WOMEN And finally the all time classic: Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE… Phil 4
planedriver Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 I really worry about you Phil sometimes, you lead a lot of us forumites astray, but many of us like it:thumb up:
Birdseye Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 It would be funny if CASA didn't require a native English speaker, former PPL holder and thirty year ATC to do a stupid bloody English test. Stoopid plicks! 1
bexrbetter Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Stoopid plicks! I have had a very angry young lady call me that once and she got even angrier when I started peeing my pants in laughter!! It's hilarious when they try to abuse you in English, 'Eff U' being the most commonly used. They just can't express it with any conviction
frank marriott Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 English language test When I did mine recently I said to the CFI "I better not fail as I don't speak any other language" 3 1
Bikky Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 Found in my local supermarket! Apparently it removes stains - the mind boggles ...
Birdseye Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I have had a very angry young lady call me that once and she got even angrier when I started peeing my pants in laughter!! It's hilarious when they try to abuse you in English, 'Eff U' being the most commonly used. They just can't express it with any conviction It must have been the fluctuations in your voice. 1
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