Budget Predictions for Senior Citizens

[Guest john]

A group of senior citizens have had an in depth discussion on the forthcoming budget & have compiled the following details which has been circulated amongst their members & it reads as follows:

 

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Federal Government may decide to implement a scheme to put workers over 50 years of age on early mandatory retirement, unless they are politicians, thus creating more jobs & reducing unemployment. Since most politicians don't have jobs anyhow, this will be advantageous, because once they become politicians, they must be kept in luxury until they depart this planet.

 

This scheme will probably be known as RETIRE AGE PEOPLE EARLY (RAPE).

 

Persons selected to be raped can apply to the Government for consideration for the SPECIAL HELP AFTER FORCED TERMINATION (SHAFT)

 

Persons who have been raped or shafted may be reviewed under the proposed SYSTEM COVERING RETIRED EARLY WORKERS(SCREWED) as many times as the Government may deem appropriate.

 

Furthermore persons who have been raped, could get ADDITIONAL INCOME FOR DEPENDANTS & SPOUSES (AIDS) or HALF EARNINGS FOR RETIRED PERSONEL EARLY SEVERANCE (HERPES)

 

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Governe ment , & persons who are not RAPED & are staying on may receive as much SPECIAL HIGH TENSITY TRAINING (SHXT) as possible. The Government seems to have prided themselves on the amount of SHXT they give our senior citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHXT please bring this to the attention of your local member who has been trained to give you all the SHXT you can handle.

 

PS: Due to all the proposed forthcoming budget cuts & the rising cost of Electricity, fuel & gas as well as the depressed current market conditions, it is predicted that the Government will also turn the lights off at the end of the tunnel.